“I’ll be back soon,” I whispered.
I walked back into my bathroom and unplugged the tub. I let it drain as I pulled out towels, tossing them onto the wet floor. I mopped it up as much as I could before I turned on the fan. I gathered everything wet--including our clothes--and walked it out to the dryer. I tossed everything in with a nice dryer sheet before getting it all started. Then I turned on my bedroom fan to try and help dry up what was still damp in the bathroom.
And as I curled up next to Rae for the night, I smiled.
Thankful to have her in my arms for the night again.
7
Raelynn
As I scanned groceries through my kiosk, the beep forced me to register my future. I only had one more week left of working here before I was done. For good. I had decided to take the last couple weeks of summer vacation to pack and enjoy the road trip with my friends and Clint. Even if it meant staring down the barrel of some decisions I knew would make life with my mother a living nightmare. While I wanted to spend quality time with her--and I would--inevitably, I knew what topic would come up.
The topic of money.
It was my mother’s favorite thing to discuss.
“I can pay you back once one of these applications go through.”
Yeah. The applications she put in months ago.
“I’m doing some odd jobs for people around the neighborhood. So I can carry the light bill if you get the water bill.”
Yeah, except she paid it late and I had to foot the late fee because she couldn't afford it.
“Why don’t we go out to lunch? There’s a great Mexican place across town, and I know how much you love Mexican.”
“No, you love Mexican, Mom. I enjoy Italian.”
“What was that, sweetie?”
I whipped my eyes up and saw an eldery woman standing in front of me. I smiled at her and took the money from her hand, then charged her out. I counted her change out in her hand before bidding her a good evening. Then I silently chastised myself.
I had to stay out of my mind so I could get through this damn shift.
Rationally, I knew I was being an idiot about this. School really wasn’t all that far away. And all I had to do was keep telling Mom that. I needed to help her put in some applications. Or simply leave. Like Clint told me t
o do. I guess our situations were a bit different. Mom was expecting me to contribute and Cecilia didn’t have that same expectation of him. I just--
I wanted so badly for Mom to change.
I wanted her to be the mom I knew she could be. The mom I knew she wanted to be. I mean, yeah. I was proud of her for keeping up with her therapy appointments. But things had stopped changing. It was almost like she reverted. Or morphed into a similarly toxic version of someone different.
I don't know. I was confusing myself at this point.
Just focus on work. Then on packing. Then on the road trip.
“I can do that,” I whispered.
“So! Ready for the next big step?”
Pauline jumped up to my register and it snapped me out of my trance.
“What?” I asked.
She giggled. “The next step, silly. College? You know, the big leagues?”
I felt homesick just thinking about. “Yeah. Sure.”