I just wanted this limbo of hell to be over.
“Just because I’m writing doesn’t mean I can’t go party with you guys. It’s a hobby. That’s all,” Clint said.
Allison smiled. “Writing about anything good?”
Michael took a bite of his ice cream. “Yeah. What is it you write?”
Clint shrugged. “All sorts of things. Poems. Ideas for short stories. Character outlines. A dream I may have had. Shit like that.”
I sighed. “It’s not shit.”
Clint snapped back. “Well, it’s not good.”
“You’re your harshest critic. I think you should do something with it.”
“Yeah, like I should’ve gone to college?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “You could’ve gotten in, with all the hard work you did.”
Clint fired back. “Yeah. I know. But that doesn’t mean school was ever my dream. You know I hate school. Why are you so pissed about this?”
“I’m not pissed, okay? Just confused.”
“Yeah, well. So am I.”
I paused. “About what?”
Clint murmured, “Nothing.”
I heard a ‘thwap’ underneath the table, and then Michael and Clint started glaring at one another. Clint’s eyes fell to his notebook, which he practically carried everywhere now. He slid it off the table before his ice cream started dripping down his hand.
“Fuck,” he hissed.
I snickered. “Yeah. That’s why I keep telling you to get anything other than a cone.”
“Well, maybe I want a fucking cone anyway.”
I shook my head and kept sucking on my straw. Why he always had to make things difficult sometimes, I’d never know. They continued talking around me, but I paid them no mind. I wasn’t looking forward to this orientation at all. Not one bit. Because I’d have to share a room with Clint. And right now, things weren’t good between us.
In fact, they hadn’t been for a little while now.
I fell into my own mind and thought about his words. I mean, did he not want to live together? Did he not want to be closer to me? It wasn’t like he didn’t have the money. He’d been selling shit left and right and banking thousands upon thousands of dollars. Why couldn't he afford to come with me? Why was he hesitant?
Why did it take me bringing up staying on campus to piss him off enough to talk about it?
At this point, I was inclined to stay on campus. The last thing I wanted to deal with was constantly fighting with Clint when I wasn’t in class. But I sure as hell didn’t want to room with a stranger. I don’t know. It was all so confusing. Everything seemed so clear-cut at prom. So good. So… perfect.
How did things get so bad this quickly?
I wondered about Mom. How she had really taken this to heart. I’d tried to find the closest school to home, but I knew it still took me farther away than she wished. I mean--I don’t know. It wasn’t as if I felt like I could really leave her anyway. And I knew why she wanted me to stay. Well, kind of.
Fuck, why is everything so damn difficult?
“Rae?”
“Rae, you there?”
“Gorgeous? Can you hear us?”