“I mean, in general. But, yes. That includes D.J. I couldn't spend time with you without being around him. And it’s been so long since we’ve hung out that I don’t even know how to do that anymore with you.”
She placed her hand over mine. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?”
I snickered. “Because I was too busy telling you to leave someone who kept smacking you around.”
“Will you at least take out your dress so I can see it?”
“You don’t just want to see it on me later?”
She eyed me carefully. “Why haven’t you asked me about my therapy appointment yet?”
“Okay. How did it go?”
“No, no. That’s passed. Why aren’t you curious about it?”
“Mom, you’re reading too much into things. It’s fine. Things are okay.”
“Things aren’t okay. If there’s anything I learned at therapy today, it’s that things haven't been okay for a while and I simply haven’t seen it.”
“Well, keep up with your therapy sessions and maybe we can start to pick through some of it.”
She paused. “Is that it?”
I rolled my eyes. “Is what it?”
“Do you feel like I’m not going to stick with my therapy sessions?”
“Mom, I don’t have t
ime for this. I have a test I really need to study—”
“In a minute. Right now, we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t. You’re blowing something you’ve always known completely out of proportion. And now, you’re getting in the way of my studies because you want to do something. It’s selfish.”
Her eyes welled with tears. “I’m sorry I can’t seem to do right by you.”
I swallowed my rising anger. “I just need some time. You need to heal, and so do I.”
“Things are over between me and D.J. For good. I swear to you. We’ve had our last fight, Rae. I mean that.”
I nodded. “Then time will tell. Okay?”
She squeezed my hand. “I’m getting better. I already feel better. My therapist and I talked about a lot today. Started unpacking some of the things I never let go of regarding your father leaving.”
“I’m glad. I’m really glad to hear that.”
“I feel like a new person, almost.”
I smiled weakly. “Yes. So, let’s just keep taking it week by week. Okay?”
She squeezed my hand harder. “You don’t believe me.”
“Mom, it’s only been a week. And if you really want me to be honest? I’ve seen you go longer spans of time before accepting D.J. back. No doubt he’ll come up to this door someday with money and flowers and promises of a future together, and that will be your real test. Surviving without him. Making something of yourself instead of being so scared of the world out there.”
She sniffled. “When did you grow up on me?”
“I did it while you were arguing in your room with D.J. and out at the bars on the weekends with mysterious men.”