She licked her lips. But again, stayed silent.
“I know you think this is hopeless. I know you don’t think you have a choice. But you do. You have a choice in all this. You have a choice to stay with me and not go with you.”
She closed her eyes. Drew in a deep breath. And still, she fucking stayed silent.
“I’m serious. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m dead serious. You deserve better than him. Better than this. You won’t be safe with my father.”
“But I’ll be safe with you.”
I sighed. “I talked to that lawyer. Remember him? We’ve got some avenues we can take to get money.”
She shook her head. “You and I both know how unpredictable your father is.”
“And angry. Which is why you shouldn’t be with him. Don’t live alone in a house with him. You know it won’t be better. Don’t you? Can’t you see how happy we’ve been as a familial unit every time he’s been gone?”
She shook her head. “If we try something, he’ll find a way to snuff it out.”
I reached out for her hand. “Which is why we have to fight.”
Her eyes fell to my palm. I wiggled my fingers, beckoning for her to take my grasp. She slowly moved her hand over mine and I closed my fingers, holding her trembling hand within my own. Tears slipped out from her eyes. It made me sick to see her crying so much. After everything this woman had done for me—after stepping up for me the way she had—it killed me to watch her go through this. To watch my fucking sperm donor yank her around like this.
“You have a choice, Cecilia. You just need to see that for yourself.”
And instead of answering, she fell silent, refusing to answer as the tears continued to silently fall.
16
Raelynn
The weekend came and went. As empty as my heart and as angry as my soul. Neither Michael nor Allison called me once the entire time. Probably because they were spending every waking moment doing everything but having sex. D.J. kept waltzing in and out of the house like he fucking owned the place. Which meant I had to listen to him and Mom fight all weekend. More of the same. More of him accusing her of shit she wasn’t doing. More of Mom crying. More of him storming out. More of her getting drunk and bringing some random guy home from a bar before D.J. showed up with flowers and make-up sex.
The cycle made me sick.
I hated being at home. I hated being in this town. I wanted to graduate, leave it all behind, and get the fuck out of Dodge. The plan had been to move with Allison. Get a place together near her college campus. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that anymore. How could a best friend forget about her heartbroken friend all weekend? And for a guy? If Allison’s heart had been broken and I was still with Clint, I’d bat Clint off in a fucking heartbeat to go be with her.
Guess I didn’t mean as much to Allison as I figured I did.
Monday morning couldn't come fast enough. But even then, it still sucked. I walked to school by myself, went to class by myself. I got out of one toxic environment and plunged headfirst into another. I didn’t see Michael or Allison until I got to homeroom. Allison’s face was flushed with a red I was all too familiar with. She smiled with a dopey smile I’d once had on my face.
She was in love.
And making out in the back stairwells of the school.
I didn’t feel like facing Michael and her at lunch. It was too painful and I was too angry. Sure, maybe my anger wasn’t warranted. But that didn’t stop me from feeling angry. From feeling like they needed to tuck shit in a bit. So I took my lunch to the library. I bypassed the table I usually occupied and headed for the middle of the room. A table surrounded by rows and rows of books.
People had to navigate a labyrinth in order to come find me.
And that was how I wanted it.
I sighed as I tried studying. I opened my books and munched on some snacks I managed to steal from my pantry at home. But I wasn’t hungry. I was tired. I needed caffeine. I needed a pick-me-up. I needed coffee, otherwise I wouldn't make it through the back half of my day. I looked up from my books, spotting a clock down one of the rows of books, hanging cock-eyed on the wall at the end. I squinted my eyes to take in the time. Only halfway through lunch before my studying period started.
I hadn’t taken my study period lately.
But today I needed it to get some damn coffee.
I packed up my things and snuck out of school. I made my way out the back doors and sprinted for the main road. I had over an hour before history class started. So I took my time. I walked into town and crossed the road, heading straight for the coffee shop by my work. It still gave me the creeps to walk around in that parking lot. I stayed as far away from that dumbass tree as possible. I ripped open the door of the coffeehouse and sniffed deeply, drawing in its wonderful scent.
Then I got in line.