She scoffed. “You’re going to sweat through your clothes before you even get there. Come on, let us give you a ride. I can ride with you, and D.J. can drive us on his way to work.”
“I’m good.”
I hated the fact that Mom had officially gotten back together with D.J. It made me sick. It made me wonder if the things she’d said that night had ever been true. I wondered if she’d ever had plans to better her life. Or herself. Or her circumstance. I mean, in the back of my mind, I knew they hadn’t been completely over. Someone was still paying the bills, since her applications had gone unanswered. According to her, at least. I wouldn't have been shocked one bit if they’d called for interviews and she had dodged the phone calls.
It was my mother, after all.
Mom shrugged. “Well, be careful, okay? I can tell that bag is heavy.”
I nodded. “I promise I’ll be careful. It’s why I’m getting a bit of an earlier start. So I can take my time.”
“You got any plans for after school? Maybe with this
boy of yours?”
“His name’s Clint. And I’m not sure.”
“Did you have fun with him last weekend?”
Wow. Finally. After over a week of spending the night at Clint’s place and meeting his stepmother, my own mother finally asked me about it. I tried not to let the pain and the hurt show on my face. I tried not to let it get to me too much. I mean, it had been nice, having my mother back. Having her fun banter and her attention and her love back. Not that she didn’t love me. But she was a different type of mother whenever D.J. was around.
The type of mother that pretty much clocked out whenever I wasn’t around.
I nodded. “We had a good time. Cecilia’s really nice.”
“His stepmother?”
“Mm-hmm. Very kind. She cooked this massive meal, too. Lasagna.”
“Sounds like she’s an amazing woman.”
I heard the pain in Mom’s voice. “She’s amazing, just like you.”
And when Mom smiled, I knew my words had at least soothed a temporary balm over whatever pain she was trying to cure with D.J. I didn’t know much as a teenager, but I knew that much. I knew there was a good chance Mom had never gotten over my father leaving. Gotten over the way he abandoned us. So, being around D.J. and having D.J. always come back to her—like my father never had—sort of reassured her that she meant something to him. That she was worth something to this world.
At least, that’s what the guidance counselor at my school said.
“Well, I need to get on to school.”
Mom frowned. “You don’t want to have some breakfast? Or some coffee with us?”
I don’t want to deal with D.J., no. “Like I said, early start.”
“Let me at least get you something to go. You can come down to the kitchen and I’ll get you and D.J.—”
“Mom.”
She paused, and I had to check myself. For whatever reason, she was pushing—hardcore—trying to get D.J. and myself into the same room. But it wouldn’t happen. With all the shit happening with Clint and his schoolwork right now, I didn’t have the energy to deal with my mother’s abusive fucking boyfriend. I’d thrown in the towel with D.J. At least for now. If that was who my mother wanted to cuddle up with at night, then so be it. I was done putting my energy into her, trying to talk her out of this disgusting scenario.
I needed to focus my efforts on getting Clint healed and graduated.
Mom sighed. “D.J. just wants to see you, that’s all.”
I nodded. “Well, I don’t want to see him.”
“Come on, Raelynn. Just give him a chance.”
“A chance?”