I snickered. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Well, you and your father have always had such potty mouths.”
I pulled back, gazing into her eyes. “Where are we?”
“Why don’t you look around and see?”
As my eyes slowly gazed out over the white expanse of nothingness, I saw edges come into view. A couch. A hallway. A projector television sitting against the wall. I saw the edges of windows, looking out onto a great, big, blue sky. Clouds as white as my clothing floated high above, and the green grass of our front lawn sparkled in the sun.
I furrowed my brow. “We’re home.”
“We are, yes.”
“But this doesn't look like home.”
“Well, it’s got a few changes.”
“Why does it look so different?”
And when I turned around, I saw sorrow in my mother’s eyes.
I paused. “What?”
Mom sighed. “Why don’t we have a little talk?”
She reached her hand out for mine and I took it. She pulled me over to the couch. The one Roy and I always sat on. But it didn’t feel like our couch. It didn’t look like our space. It was a nice replica. Why the fuck was everything so white?
“Mom, what’s going on?”
She paused. “It’s complicated, sweetheart.”
“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
“In a way, yes.”
“In a way??
?
“Your body is giving out on you right now.”
“So I’m dying.”
“Do you remember much of anything?”
I nodded slowly. “I remember it all.”
Mom patted my hand. “Who’s the pretty girl coming for you?”
“Coming for me?”
She smiled. “Just answer the question, sweetheart. We don’t have much time.”
“I’m not following.”
She cupped my cheek. “Who’s this girl you’ve been spending time with?”
I felt so confused. And yet, this all still felt very natural. I nuzzled against my mother’s palm, wanting nothing more than to stay here with her. Stay here, in her arms. Stay here, with her touch. Stay here, and feel her run her fingers through my hair for all eternity.