Rae sighed. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”
Marina giggled. “You mean, did he do you on purpose?”
I grumbled, “Put a muzzle on that girl or get her the fuck away from this table.”
Roy scoffed. “Say what now?”
Rae sighed. “It’s fine. Just don’t play stupid. I know they know. I’ve accepted that. But at least give me the satisfaction of confirming the nightmare I’ve already come to terms with.”
I shrugged. “Not sure what you mean.”
Roy chuckled. “She means, did you fuck her in order to use it against her? Because honestly, if you did? Fucking props to you. Because that’s some lowdown shit and I love it.”
Marina cackled. “Cleaver Beaver the Dick Eater. Has a nice ring to it.”
Roy threw his head back in laughter and the gang behind me joined in. I sat there, staring up at Rae, and I saw Allison tearing up, getting emotional for her. It was the first time I’d ever felt guilty for teasing someone. For pushing someone around. I wanted to apologize to them for what happened with Michael. I wanted to apologize for the unhinged animals behind me, cackling and barking with laughter like feral fucking animals.
Rae nodded. “This was always going to be used against me, wasn’t it?”
Her voice was so soft, it almost got swallowed up by the laughter around me. And yet I heard it. Loud and clear. Like a fucking bullhorn. How the fuck could she even think that? Did I come off as that terrible of a person? That much of an asshole?
Because that was some shit my father would have pulled in his younger years.
Holy shit, I’m turning into my father.
Allison sniffled. “Come on, Rae. Let’s get out of here. None of them are worth it.”
Marina snickered. “Not what Rae thought when she was spreading her legs.”
“Can it!” I roared.
The entire fucking cafeteria came to a grinding halt as I looked over at that bitch.
“What the fuck has your boyfriend, on numerous occasions, told you about that disgusting mouth of yours? Either keep it closed or take Roy somewhere and stuff it full. Got it? Holy fuck, Marina.”
Everyone’s eyes went wide as I turned my attention back to Rae. But, try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to address the issue at hand. She shook her head side to side, then allowed Allison to turn her around. She peeked over her shoulder at me as a sadness filled her stare. Then she stopped and turned around to face me.
“Thank you for giving me the answer I needed,” she said.
I paused, then sighed. “You’re welcome, I guess.”
The cafeteria returned to its dull roar as Allison shook her head. I saw Rae’s chin trembling and it broke my fucking heart. I turned my eyes out toward the window, where some of the nerds sat on the back patio doing homework while eating their fucking lunch. I couldn't stand to look at her. I couldn't stand to look at myself.
You’re a sorry excuse for a human, Clint. Just like your father.
“You all deserve each other, you know that?”
I snickered at Rae’s voice. “Yeah, I guess so.”
And I watched as Allison physically pulled her out of the cafeteria, leaving me surrounded by a bunch of brainless, nitwitted assholes I wanted nothing more to do with.
Fuck my life.
25
Raelynn
I sat at my window as the thunder rolled. The snacks under my bed were long gone, but I wasn’t hungry anyway. Not after my encounter with Clint at school today. I placed my elbow on the windowsill, resting my chin in my hand. I saw lightning crack the sky, illuminating the world around me. Black outlines of decrepit houses came into view. The rolling green