More, the drive to brand her came back in full-force. He felt it everywhere. It was an itch, an ache, a throb, and a burn all at once.
“That’s why your devil is pissed at me,” he realized. “She wants more as well, and she’s mad that I haven’t offered it.”
Havana nodded and pushed to her feet. “I didn’t want to tell you the full truth for two reasons. One, I didn’t want to make you feel bad that I was hurting when it was absolutely not your fault. Two, I didn’t want to hear you say aloud what I already know—you’re not going to give me what I’m looking for. I didn’t think I’d have to tell you everything. I didn’t think you’d care when I ended it. I definitely didn’t think you’d insist on dragging the fling out even longer. I can’t do it, Tate. You understand, right? You get it?”
Yeah, he got it. But he didn’t want to get it. Didn’t want to admit she had every reason to walk away. “So, you want to end this because it’s too casual for you. Does that mean you’re looking to settle down with someone now?”
“No.”
“Then why end something that works so well when all you’ll do is walk right into another casual relationship?”
“I’m ending this because it’s the right thing to do. It hurts that I don’t mean anything to you—it shouldn’t hurt, and I don’t want it to hurt, but it does.”
“I told you last night; you mean something to me. I’m not in the habit of saying shit I don’t mean.”
“Maybe I do mean something to you. But if so, I don’t mean enough for it to make a difference to you.” Her eyes glistened with tears he knew she was too proud to shed in front of him. “I’d be cheapening myself if I accepted so much less from you than what I need. I won’t keep being your fuck-buddy, especially when I know you’ll walk away from me the second you find your true mate. I’m no masochist.”
He reached for her. “Havana …”
She shook her head, backing away. “Don’t.”
Undeterred, Tate pulled her close and held her tight, sliding his hand up her back. He pushed his face into her hair and breathed her in. She didn’t hug him back, but she also didn’t fight him. He curved his hand around her nape and spoke into her ear. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to,” she whispered, fisting the sides of his tee.
They stayed there like that for long minutes, saying nothing. Meanwhile, his cat raged and snarled and demanded that Tate subdue her, which pissed Tate off because they might not be in this fucking situation if the feline didn’t make it impossible for them to have a real relationship.
Havana released his tee. “I need to leave now.”
Tate dropped his forehead to hers. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know you didn’t,” she said, her voice thick, as she gently pushed against his chest.
Tate tightened his hold. But only for a moment. Then he slowly lowered his arms. “I’ll walk you home. Don’t argue. I want to be sure you’re safe.”
She nodded.
His stomach heavy, Tate walked her to her complex while Luke and Farrell trailed behind them—silent sentries. Tate entered the security code into the keypad to unlock the front door. He didn’t say a word. He couldn’t even really get a proper handle on all that he was feeling.
She gave him a wobbly smile. “Take care of yourself, Tate.” She rushed inside and closed the door behind her.
Tate swallowed and, ignoring the ache in his chest and the tantrum his cat was throwing, he turned to his brother and Head Enforcer. Ignoring Luke’s “you just made a big mistake” look, he said, “Assign two enforcers to watch her. I want eyes on her at all times.”
“It’ll be done,” Luke assured him.
Tate nodded. He couldn’t have her, but he could at least keep her safe. As much as he hated it, his protection was all he had to give her.
CHAPTER NINE
“Someone’s not a happy bunny,” said Corbin.
Looking away from the two juveniles who were sparring in the ring of the rec center’s gym, Havana asked, “Huh?”
Corbin tipped his chin toward someone behind her.
Glancing over her shoulder, she saw none other than Dieter bearing down on her, his face contorted into an almighty glower. Her devil rumbled an irritable sound and turned away, uninterested. Ordinarily, her pulse would quicken and her stomach would flip at the sight of him. Now? Nothing.
Oh, the guy was still as good-looking as ever—dark, burly, and broad-shouldered with one very fine ass. But this time, her body just didn’t react. Which would have made her smile if it wasn’t for that glower he was wearing.
Dieter stopped at the edge of her personal space, and his dark masculine scent—one that used to stir up her hormones but now had no effect on her—wafted her way, almost overriding the smells of leather, sweat, and the cool air wafting through the open window. He threw up his arms. “What the hell, Havana?”