Well that came out of left field. “You never would have offered me that, Dieter. You want to be part of a flock, and no lone shifter can give you that.”
“But if I’d shoved that shit aside and asked you to try something serious, would you have done it?”
“Does it really matter? I’m with Tate now.”
His face darkened. “It matters to me. Be honest with me, please.”
She sighed. “The truth? I’d have agreed to more. I wanted more. But you didn’t. We shared a bed off-and-on for a year. You never asked for exclusivity or stuck around long. You flitted from person to person, keeping things simple and shallow.”
“Because I was a fucking idiot,” he clipped. “I was obsessed with becoming part of a flock. I lost sight of what else was important to me. You.”
A snort bubbled up. “You never made me feel important.”
“I should’ve done, because you are.”
“Things often seem much more appealing when they’re out of our reach.”
“This is not me being drawn to forbidden fucking fruit. This is me realizing how badly I messed up. This is me wanting you back.”
She almost gaped. Oh, he could not be doing this. He could not be pulling this crap. Tate had been right about him, she realized. “You never had me to begin with. You kept me dangling on a string. You’d disappear for months at a time, return to throw scraps at my table so I’d find it hard to forget you, and then you’d be gone again.”
“I didn’t keep coming back to stop you from forgetting me. I did it because I couldn’t fucking help it.” He ground his teeth. “You say the pallas cat is your mate. But you’re still not bonded to him, so how do you know it for sure?”
“I just do.”
“Or maybe you want to believe it. Maybe you’re done being alone. Maybe you want to finally settle down. I can give you that, Havana.”
Her lips parted. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“No joke, no lie, I can give you that. He doesn’t know you like I do. You and I have history. Good history.”
“Dieter—”
“No, listen to me.” He took another step closer. “I love you, all right. I love you. I should’ve said it before now. I should have gotten my act together, admitted what was most important to me, and asked you to take a chance on me, on us. I didn’t, but I’m doing it right here, right now. If you need time for me to prove to you that I mean every word, I’ll give you that time. I will. Whatever you want, Havana, I’ll give you whatever you want. I’m in this for the long haul.”
She stared at him, hurt. Once, hearing those three little words from him would have delighted her. Now, they only made her sad. Because if he truly meant them, it had taken her finding her mate for Dieter to actually realize he cared for her so deeply.
If the situation were reversed, she wouldn’t have made this declaration. She wouldn’t have messed with his head this way. She’d have had more respect for the fact that he’d found his true mate. Yet, he apparently couldn’t do any of that for her. He expected—literally expected it, she could hear it in his voice—her to drop Tate for him. “You need to go.”
Dieter frowned. “What?”
“I’m with Tate now. I have no wish to change that. I don’t want to hurt you, but I won’t lie to you. I don’t want what you want.”
“Because he’s got you convinced that you two are mates. I don’t see it, Havana. When I looked at the two of you standing side by side, I didn’t see any connection there. You believe him because you want to believe him. You want to put down some roots and settle. I get it. Like I said, I can give you that.”
“I don’t want you to.” And it was pretty much the last thing her devil wanted. “He and I are mates, Dieter. I don’t expect you to be happy for me. But I’m asking that you respect that and just drop this.”
His eyes flared. “I’d respect it if I believed it, but I don’t.”
“Lucky for me and Havana, we don’t require you to believe it.”
Tate almost snorted at how fast the eagle twirled to face him. He’d overheard plenty as he stood outside the office moments ago, and he was finding it an honest to God’s struggle not to drop-kick the son of a bitch. His cat had sliced out his claws and was now drumming them on the ground, raring to pounce.
Dieter had tried to move in on Tate’s woman. Had claimed that there was no true-mate bond. Had professed to love her and be ready to fully commit to her. Really, it was like Dieter wanted to have the shit kicked out of him.