I have to take a breath, and my voice is strained as I say, “You won’t go anywhere. If the worst happens, you’ll stay right here with me.” I take another breath and let it out slowly, trying to keep my shit together for her. “You’ll always be a part of me, Danny. You’ll live in my heart. I’ll fucking rip half my soul out to make space for yours.”
Every muscle in my face hurts from fighting to not give in to the grief, the gut-wrenching destruction, the devastating despair.
Danny regains control over her emotions while mine spirals into a chaotic mess.
“I’m going to fight,” she says. “There are survivors who have lived with it for ten years. I can do that as well.”
I begin to nod, hope warring against the cold hard truth.
Danny lifts her hand to my jaw, and her face begins to crumble, but again she reins it in. “I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head as everything suddenly stills inside me.
This isn’t about me.
This is about Danny.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I manage to murmur. My mind begins to race. “I’ll talk to Aunt Leigh. She might know of a specialist.”
Danny shakes her head. “I’ve looked into Dr. Friedman and Cedars-Sinai. They’ve made a lot of progress with vaccine therapy. Most of the survivors that have lived past the ten-year mark… it was because of the vaccine trial. I’m going to stay with Dr. Friedman.”
God.
I tilt my head, a frown deepening on my forehead. “When did you find out?”
“Thursday.”
I clench my jaw when I remember the state she was in.
I should’ve listened to my gut.
I close my eyes at the stab of disappointment in myself.
“Ryker,” Danny whispers.
Opening my eyes, I focus on her face.
She glances down and takes a deep breath before she looks up again. “You’re twenty-five. I don’t want this to be your future.”
I instantly begin to shake my head. “Don’t even go there. There’s no way I’m letting you go. We’re in this together, no matter the outcome.”
A sob flutters over her lips as she looks down again. “I want you to be happy.” Her voice disappears, and she swallows hard before she continues, “You deserve to be with a woman who can give you a future.”
God, my brave love.
Lifting my hands to the sides of her neck, I lean forward and force her to look at me. “And you’re that woman. I love you. There will never be anyone else. Never. You, Daniele Hayes, are the only woman I’ll ever love. No matter what you say, no matter how hard you try to push me away, I won’t leave you. Get that?”
Her face crumbles as she moves forward, burrowing against my chest. I hold her as tight as I can.
Then she whispers, “I’m going to fight for us.”
I begin to nod. “Do that, babe. Give it your all. If anyone can beat this, it’s you.”
We hold onto each other for a couple of minutes, then Danny asks, “How am I going to tell my parents, my family?”
“If you can’t, then I will.”
She shakes her head. “I have to.”
“Then I’ll be there right next to you.”
“Ryker,” she whimpers, and the fear is now so clear in her voice, I’m fucking angry at myself for not hearing it before.
“I’ve got you.” I press a kiss to her hair. “I wish I could trade places with you.”
My words make Danny pull away, and then she begins to shake her head as some kind of realization washes over her face. Her voice is drenched in heartache as she says, “That is the only thing worse than me dying. Don’t ever say that again.” We stare at each other, and then she sobs, “I’m so sorry for doing this to you. God, I’m so sorry, Ryker.”
I frame her face again and lean in close to her. I press my mouth to her quivering lips then murmur, “You’re going to beat this, Danny. For us.”
She begins to nod again. “I’m going to fight with everything I have.”
Somehow I manage to form a smile around my lips. “I’ll be there every step of the way. Take whatever strength you need from me. Strip me fucking bare, just don’t give up.”
Chapter 17
DANNY
Ryker and I stay up all night, and there’s nothing left of my heart from seeing how hard the news has hit him.
He just sits and stares at me, and the next moment he’ll yank me to his chest while his body shakes.
Seeing his tears… that’s the killer.
I’ve never seen Ryker cry before.
His jaw clenches again, and he shakes his head. His eyes lift to mine, and they’re dark with grief.
It makes a new fear bleed through me. My loved ones are only going to see death when they look at me.
I begin to shake my head as a lump pushes up my throat. “Don’t look at me like that.” A sob escapes me. “I’m not dead yet.”