Most of his missions were things he decided needed to be taken care of, and when he took clients, he didn’t function as a bodyguard. Vigilance was meant to handle more complex missions than waiting around to keep a hacker out of trouble.
“That’s not necessary. I appreciate the offer, but—”
“I’m not offering. I’m telling you what’s happening.”
Hello submissive fantasy fodder.
How wonderful would it be to spend time alone with him in some secluded safe house? It would also make me want him even more, and that was never going to happen.
Since I started taking clients, I’d known there was the potential for things to blow up in my face. I had contingency plans. “I have a place I can hide out. I don’t need your help.” I did, but not so badly I would destroy myself, which is what would happen if I let myself believe he was more than a benevolent employer. I would have to do this on my own now.
“You’re part of my team, and you’re my responsibility. I don’t leave loose ends.”
“I’m not—”
“You’re going to come with me, and I’m going to protect you. Even if Swain’s hacker doesn’t track you down, you know there are others he was connected to in other parts of the country.”
I sighed.
“We don’t know how invested they are in keeping this going now that Swain is gone, but we’ve got to watch our backs.”
“I’ll be safe where I—”
“No.”
I took a shaky breath. His overbearing insistence should not turn me on, but it totally did. “I’m not your responsibility.”
“You’re part of my team, that makes you mine.”
“If only—”
“Look at me.”
I did. It was a mistake. He was staring at me so intently it made me shiver.
I remembered how it had felt every time he’d touched me, like he was lighting me up, like I could come from nothing but his hands on me. Now I wondered if just a look from him would be enough.
“I’m not letting you go.”
Jesus. If only he meant that the way I wanted him to. “You can’t—”
“I can. You’re an asset. You’re part of this team, and you know a hell of a lot about me and about our missions.”
This was more like what I’d expected from him. “Are you threatening me?”
Deviant that I was, the idea only made me hotter, but I needed to know where I stood. Did X actually want to help me, or did he just want to protect his identity?
“I don’t think I need to threaten you.”
He was right about that, both in the sense that I’d basically do anything he asked no matter how much I might protest and also because I had no intention of revealing his identity. I’d hoped he might actually like me. Now I knew I was just a tool to him.
He stepped closer and—disappointed or not—my heart began to pound.
“Let me help you.”
“No wonder they say you can seduce anyone. Uh… any woman, I mean.”
“Oh, I could seduce men too if I wanted.”
“Do you?” I couldn’t believe the words had popped out of my mouth. I stared at him in horror.
5
Xavier
Emilio looked terrified. I wanted to comfort him, not make him fear me, even if the thought of him trembling before me was… Fuck. I wanted him on his knees. I forced my mind back to the present. I only wanted to scare him enough to make him obey me.
I hadn’t wanted to seduce any man before him, but now… “I’m not sure.”
Emilio’s eyes went wide, and he started to shift from side to side. “Wh-what made you change your mind?”
“Certain recent events.”
“Oh. Wow.”
I wanted to reach out to touch him, but I couldn’t trust myself. I clearly wasn’t thinking straight—or logically. Bringing down Swain, Leo getting hurt, realizing how close he and Giorgio had both been to dying had my mind filled with fog. It wasn’t the time to make a major life decision, and no matter how much I wanted Emilio, nothing had changed about the reasons why I shouldn’t be in a relationship.
I held Emilio’s gaze for a few moments, unable to look away. The room felt warm, the air thick.
Emilio finally broke the silence. “Is Leo okay?”
I was grateful for the change of subject. I felt like I was on a roller coaster flipping upside down over and over and needing it to stop. Being part of a family that was always in the public eye, being in charge of the stewardship of billions, making sure my sister was taken care of, and running Vigilance were all necessary to me. I was made to lead. I was strong, skilled, able to be a chameleon, but every once in a while I just wanted to step off the ride.
I pushed that thought from my head. A vacation was the last thing I should be thinking about, even if my team insisted I needed one. They needed me. We might have brought down the major players in the Boston trafficking ring, but they had allies in other cities. It wasn’t hard to guess that someone would fight for control of a business as lucrative as the local ring had been. I already had Walsh, an enigmatic man who’d helped us bring down Swain’s Boston associates, investigating those connections.