Closing my eyes, for the first time in a long time, I dropped off without any trouble.
5
Sassy
* * *
Waking up with a man in my bed was strange enough, waking up with two of them practically on top of me, I almost giggled once I remembered who they were and why I was in bed with them. I managed to stifle the impulse, not wanting to wake them just yet. I needed a few moments to myself—even if I couldn’t move because William had his arm wrapped around my waist, and Clive’s legs were draped over mine.
My nipples were still sensitive, and there was an ache between my thighs I hadn’t been expecting. Even though it had been a while since I’d plied my former trade, I hadn’t thought my body would have changed much.
Then again, no man had ever made me feel the way they had.
The difference between bedding a man who had paid to do so and one who was bedding his wife was greater than I’d imagined.
Making love.
That’s what it was called, but we weren’t in love, although I could easily imagine myself falling there all too quickly. Already, I unexpectedly felt attached to both of them. The idea I might have brought danger their way did not sit well with me. I’d come for protection but hadn’t thought about the safety of those who would be protecting me, not until now.
If either of them was hurt because of me…
I wanted to think Lord Carmichael wouldn’t keep following me, but I already knew he’d been looking for me in New York. I hadn’t just pricked his pride and stolen from him, I’d injured him. The smell of burning flesh seemed to flood my nose again, and I shuddered, remembering as clear as day the way he’d looked on the floor, moaning while holding his hand to the burn.
“You alright there, sweetheart?” William’s low whisper jerked me out of my reverie, the vision and the smell fading as quickly as they’d come. I nodded, turning my head, and meeting his blue eyes, soft and full of concern.
I couldn’t have that. Men needed to be happy. To be pleased. My brain was still foggy from sleep, but I rem
embered that. Reaching out, my fingers quickly found his shaft and wrapped around it. William groaned when I stroked the hard flesh, rubbing my thumb over the sensitive tip.
“I’m fine,” I whispered. “I’m just fine.”
“Hell, sweetheart, that feels damn good,” William whispered, his hand draping over mine.
Good, I was making him feel good. That was what a wife was supposed to do, wasn’t it? And I was very good at making men feel good. I propped myself up on my elbow, so I could bend over him, my lips heading for his cock—
Fingers gripped my hair, pulling me back up. I gasped in surprise and the slight pain. William’s eyes met mine, a frown forming on his face. He was holding me immobile, thinking hard and staring at me. What had I done wrong? Clive stirred beside us, opening his eyes, but William didn’t even glance at him.
“What are you doing, Sassy?” he asked, holding my hair tightly gripped, so I couldn’t look away from him.
I wet my lips, my tongue darting out, but he didn’t look away from my eyes.
“I-I was just…”
“What was she doing?” Clive asked. Sleep still fogged his voice, but he sat up, clearly coming awake very quickly.
“She was going to use her mouth on me,” William said, glancing at Clive.
Now, both of my new husbands were looking at me oddly, chasing the fog from my mind. Panic surged as I realized my sleepy mistake. Whores used their mouths on men. A proper young lady probably shouldn’t have even known it was a possibility.
“Where did you learn about that?” Clive asked suspiciously, confirming my thoughts.
“I-I… the girls at the factory,” I finally blurted out, hoping with all my heart, they believed the lie. I tripped over my words, trying to find some that wouldn’t make them more suspicious. “They said, they said men liked to have their… to be kissed there. Some of them said. Should I… should I not have…” I was stumbling over my words in my panic, very much wishing I had not done that, but both William and Clive relaxed at my stammered explanation.
“Well, they weren’t wrong,” William said, shaking his head almost ruefully, his grip lessening. “Sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I didn’t expect you to know about such things, and it took me off guard.”
My heart was pounding in my chest, and I bit my lower lip, dropping my head, so they wouldn’t see the tears that sprang to my eyes. If I had wanted proof, I couldn’t reveal my past to them, I had it. They would surely think differently of me if they knew. Likely treat me differently, too.
Last night, they’d acted as though I was a treasured possession. I did not want to lose that. I did not want to lose them. They clearly thought I was a modest young lady. Would they want to remain married if they knew?