“And today, that fantasy can be real. He said we can buy whatever we want. The credit limit is stupid, so we literally don’t have to even think about it.”
She shakes her head, looking at the piece of rectangular plastic. “He’s just a kid. How does he have a better credit card than I do?”
“I don’t know, he’s got modeling money and his dad’s a prince or something like that.”
“The lives some people lead.”
“No kidding. So, can we do it?”
“You know what… what the hell?”
I brighten. “Yeah?”
“Fuck it, let’s go.”
“We only have an hour to get ready.”
“Then we better get our butts in gear.”
With that, we part, each of us heading to our own bathrooms to get ready for a whole day of being spoiled.
__
“Hey, Jeeves, can we make one more stop before we go home?”
The driver regards my mom in the mirror. “Of course, madam.”
I look over at her. “His name isn’t Jeeves.”
“I know, but he looks like a Jeeves and it just seems like it should be.” She looks in the rearview mirror again. “You don’t mind, do you, Jeeves?”
“Not at all, madam. Where would you like me to take you?”
After a long day of shopping and pampering, I feel floaty and relaxed, and more tempted than ever before to trade in my working girl status to be a professional girlfriend.
I won’t, but the temptation is real.
Professional girlfriend life is not terrible.
I wasn’t paying attention when Mom told the driver—his real name is Thomas—where to take us, so I’m surprised when we pull into Target.
“What are we doing here?” I ask, looking over at her.
“I want to buy a move-in present for Ray while we still have your boyfriend’s credit card. He wants one of those electric toothbrushes, but the one he likes is like $200, which is obviously an awful lot of money to spend on a toothbrush. But if Hunter’s buying….”
I shake my head at her. “Wow, you have really come around on his gift-giving tendencies, haven’t you?”
“Well, when it started I was worried he was trying to buy your virginity. Now you’ve given the damn thing to him, so he might as well pay.”
“I’m going to tell him my bride price is a toothbrush.”
“And all the shopping bags in the trunk. Don’t forget the shopping bags.”
The driver puts the car in park and gets out to open Mom’s door.
Instead of climbing right out, she looks over at me. “Are you coming?”
“No, you can just run in, I’ll wait in the car. I’m comfy. Plus, if I go, you’ll just talk me into buying more stuff.”
“That’s true, but do I want the store to have video surveillance of me using Hunter’s credit card? What if this is all an elaborate scheme to have me arrested for credit card fraud so he can whisk you off to his castle and keep you all to himself?”
“I don’t think he has a castle,” I say, as if that’s the only far-fetched part of the scenario.
She gives me a funny look. “What kind of prince doesn’t have a castle?”
“He’s not a prince. His dad was a prince, or… his dad’s dad was a prince? Someone somewhere down the line was a prince. I don’t know, we haven’t had enough time together for him to fill me in on his European adventure. Speaking of…”
“Uh oh.”
“No uh oh. I just wanted to tell you that since I don’t have to work next weekend, Hunter wants to know if I can spend it at his place.”
She blinks at me.
“Remember the toothbrush,” I tell her.
“The whole weekend. As in, sleep at his house for two nights without ever coming home.”
“Correct.”
She stares at me.
“But I’ll have my phone, we can text all we want. And he lives like five minutes away, obviously I can come home if I need to.” I gesture to her and say brightly, “And think of it this way—a whole weekend kid-free. Ray can stay over; it’ll be like a trial run of him moving in.”
She narrows her eyes.
“If it helps… I really want to go. And yes, we will have sex, but we would do that even if I didn’t get to spend the night. This way, we’ll get to have more quality time together, and it’ll be a lot nicer for me. I want to spend the night, I want to wake up with him in the morning. I don’t want to ‘wham, bam, thank you, man’ and get out of there. And I promise to make him buy condoms beforehand. We won’t be as careless this time.”
Mom sighs heavily.
Poor Jeeves stands there holding the door and pretending he can’t hear this conversation.
I give Mom my best puppy dog eyes.
“Fine.” She sighs again, much more dramatically.
“Really?” I flash her a grin. “Yay! Thanks, Mom.”
She narrows her eyes. “Just for that, he’s buying me another purse.”