I waited until Hannah looked me square in my face before I piped up again.
“I won’t live in a dorm room with this kind of tension any longer. It’s wreaking havoc on my study habits. It’s impeding my sleep.”
She frowned. “You sure that’s not Max?”
“I’ve pulled many all-nighters in the past and been fine. But this tension between us? That’s what’s doing the most damage. Some nights when I’d actually like to come back, I choose not to because I know you’re here.”
“What?”
“And some days, when I know I should come back and study, I end up not doing that at all and calling Max instead because being around him is better than being here. In this dorm. Or on campus, where I know I’m going to run into you.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel bad.”
“Whatever you believe, that’s your call. But this is on you at this point. You want to have a friendship with me? By all means. I’m more than open to it. You’re important to me. But you’re not important enough to weather this tension and this anger any longer. Either get okay with things, or I’m applying for another roommate at the end of the week.”
She balked. “You wouldn’t do that in the middle of the semester. That’s insane!”
I picked up my coffee. “No, Hannah. What’s insane is you thinking you can change my mind by constantly turning your back on me. And trust me, one of those times, you’re going to turn back around and I’m going to be walking away. For good.”
I sipped my coffee as Hannah searched for her words.
“Dani… I--”
“Whatever it is, I know you mean it. So, just know I mean it, too. I’m done defending myself. I’m done taking this energy that should be thrown into my studies and throwing it at you instead. Max has showed me how to stand on my own. How to be brave. How to dig deep and figure out who I really am and what I really want from my own life. I’m not trading that in for a guy who ‘might be nice’ because my roommate thinks her anger is going to turn my head, too. Because it won’t.”
She licked her lips. “I’m sorry, Dani. I didn’t realize--I mean, I didn’t mean--I just…”
I sighed as I continued sipping my coffee. Watching her struggle for the words.
“I’m just sorry, okay?”
I nodded slowly. “Me, too, Hannah. Me, too.”
I finished my coffee and started packing my things away. I had ten minutes to throw on something decent befo
re I had to head to class. Yet again, I’d be rushing. And it wasn’t Max’s fault. I shoved my things into my backpack, shook my mug over my open mouth to get the last drops of coffee, then stripped myself down. I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and paired it with a simple red T-shirt before slipping my leather coat up my arms. And after putting on a pair of my flats, I picked up my backpack.
“Don’t wait up,” I said.
And that was the last thing I said to Hannah before leaving for class.
24
Max
My gaze dropped to the bubbling foam at the very top of my beer. The pitcher the waitress had brought Rupert and me was fresh. Cold. Crispy to its core. But for the first time in my life, I was too angry to drink it. Too angry to taste it.
All I wanted to do was hear the glass shatter against the wall.
“So you ready to talk?”
Rupert’s voice pulled my eyes up and I watched him take a pull from his own glass of beer.
“I’ll take that as a no,” he murmured.
My eyes fell back to my drink. “He’s guilty.”
“Wait, what?”