Enough? How could it ever be enough? Lucy wondered, tears stinging her eyes as she thought of the little boy who had never known his mother, other than from cruel gossip amongst the palace servants. She cr
ied too for fear that history might repeat itself.
‘Hey,’ Razi said, kissing tears from her cheeks, ‘I can’t keep up with the downpour—and anyway, I’ve talked enough. It’s time for you to tell me your story.’
It was so like him to make light of his history. Razi came with a self-pity delete key. But if anyone had a right to be angry about their parents, it was him. They had never had a chance like this to get to know each other, Lucy realised, and maybe they never would again. Thanks to Razi confiding in her, she understood the father of her child a lot better now, but she was still eager to learn more. ‘I’m only interested in you,’ she protested.
‘Nice try,’ he said, ‘but I’m still waiting.’
‘Nothing I’ve experienced comes close to a child being shunned by its mother.’
‘Let me be the judge of that.’
‘Do I take that as an instruction?’ She stared into his eyes.
‘No.’ Razi’s smile was slow and sexy. ‘That was a command.’
It was always the same, he realised. Lucy never wanted to talk about herself. She had no idea how much she gave away just by adopting that attitude. When she finally gave in enough to share a few anecdotes with him, she only confirmed what he already knew. Listening to her as she laughed and joked her way through her family history, he realised she had felt as much the cuckoo in the nest as he had, and that sharing what they had tonight had brought them closer than he would ever have believed possible. His focus now was on reassuring her. ‘All that’s in the past,’ he said, ‘and you have your future to look forward to.’
‘Do I, Razi?’
He wished she wouldn’t look so sad. He wanted to make her happy—especially when he thought of the lonely child she’d been and the self-doubting young woman she’d grown into. She hadn’t told him that, of course—she didn’t need to. Instead, she made every excuse for her family and none for herself. ‘You did nothing wrong,’ he protested when she insisted that she always managed to let her family down. ‘Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be understood. Everyone wants to be heard, and you deserve all those things, Lucy.’
‘My family does love me.’ She made a wry face. ‘They just don’t get me.’
‘I get you…’ Touching her face, he kissed her again, thinking how lucky he was to have this time with her.
‘It’s not as if I was abandoned like you.’
‘It’s not as if you had a brother like Ra’id to look out for you.’
‘My brothers would have looked out for me—if they’d stopped arguing long enough.’
‘I’m sure they would,’ he agreed, stifling the urge to take all of them on at once for letting her down. Their loss, he supposed, hiding his feelings from her.
‘I’d like to meet your brother, Ra’id.’
‘You will.’
There was silence as she took this in. Under what circumstances? He could feel her wondering. Would he smuggle her into the palace for a private audience? Would he employ her in the kitchens and have Ra’id inspect the staff? ‘I’d be proud to introduce you to Ra’id.’
‘You would?’
‘How can you doubt it?’
Maybe because every idyll had to come to an end and theirs just had. She was already sensing Razi starting to distance himself. It was no coincidence he was moving away from her in every way he could, physically and mentally as light strengthened inside the pavilion. She clung to him as dawn broke and for a while he relented and they lay in silence, staring out at the pearly sky streaked with lavender and jasmine yellow, until they both, without saying a word, broke apart and moved away in separate directions.
‘I’ll get the coffee on,’ he said as she thought about taking one last swim.
‘It’s light now,’ she said when Razi frowned, ‘and I promise I’ll be careful.’
He stared at her for some time and then he let her go. It was more than an acknowledgement that she would take care in the water. When they looked at each other she was telling him she could do this on her own—all of it, and that he had to know that and accept it.
It was a brave stand, but with dawn came reality, and the reality was Razi was a king and she was no one. She could no more make a stand in his country than she could fly, but he stopped short of pointing this out and humiliating her. As she picked up her robe and slipped it on he drew her to him and kissed her briefly—it felt like one last time; one last kiss. ‘That was quite a night,’ he said dryly, releasing her.
‘Yes, it was…’
The look they shared now spoke of more than sex. They had confided in each other and grown closer just as now they must live apart. She shrugged, as if she could handle that too. ‘Don’t worry—I understand,’ she said as if she were reassuring him. ‘And I’ll always treasure the confidences you shared with me.’