We lay panting in each other’s arms, basking in the twilight of orgasms that momentarily lit up the cosmos. The golden light fades as the sun sets, and the stacks return to normal indoor lighting. I drag a finger down her shoulders and over her clavicle, her eyes flutter closed, and she curls into my chest in contentment.
I want to shelter and care for Crosby forever, keep her safe, happy, and satiated. I also want to bend her will with the flick of my tongue, watch her combust with orgasms strong enough to blow her mind. I want her pregnant with my child. I want Crosby Dashen to always and forever be mine.
13
Crosby
Asa finally returns from overseas in the way we were hoping to avoid. He’s injured, and the marines won’t tell us much—only that Asa was hurt during a covert mission, that he was hit and sustained not only damage to his body, but a possible brain injury as well.
Mom and Dad are devastated. Weston is beside himself and so torn up, you’d think it was his fault Asa got hurt. I’d imagined my brother’s homecoming with a backyard cookout, balloons, and welcome home signs and everyone who’d missed him celebrating his return. Instead, Asa has to spend a month in Germany. Only Mom is allowed to go see him there, so Weston and I take care of Dad while she’s gone. Dad and Weston won’t even talk about it, like they’re scared to snag the thin thread of fate if we say Asa’s name out loud or admit how terrified we are that he’ll never be the same again. I might be the only one in our family who believes he’ll get better. My brother may be a mere mortal to my parents, but to me, he’s a superhero. I know he’ll pull through—the part that scares me is the idea that he’s suffering.
But I fall more in love with Weston watching him care for my father as if he were his own. Dad’s health has deteriorated, and the news about Asa hasn’t helped. When Mom finally comes home, she breaks the bad news that Asa will have to spend a few months in rehab in Virginia before he makes it home to us.
“We need to hire a nurse or a home health aide to help with your brother’s recovery, BeBe. I can manage your dad, but there’s no way I can still work and attend to Asa’s needs too.”
“I can quit school, or at least take a year off,” I quickly add.
“I knew you’d say that, honey, but the last thing I want is for you to put your life on hold. You already help out too much.”
“I can put in for a semester off, Diana. I’d be happy to do it,” Weston offers. My mother gives West a sad smile as tears fill her eyes. She’s managed to accept our relationship, although there is still something about it that’s hard for her to process. I think she imagines me as a child and Weston being inappropriate, although nothing of the sort ever happened between the two of us.
“West, I’ll need your help down at the office. And that’s the extent of what I’ll ask of you. BeBe, what about Callie? Didn’t she just join a visiting nurse service? She’s got her degree. It might be nice for Asa to have a familiar face after all of these hospitals.”
I start to protest because Callie drives Asa crazy, or used to, at least. But, to her credit, Callie has changed, and she’s amazing at her job. I’ve never seen someone as invested in their patients as she is. The two times she’s been over for dinner, she spent nearly the whole time with my parents, explaining my dad’s treatment and medication in understandable terms. Weston and I were impressed, to the point that we both encouraged her to go back to medical school and become a doctor. She laughed us off, but I know she’d take my brother’s recovery seriously. My only hesitation is that Callie’s brother died over there. He was a marine too, and I think he, Asa, and Weston even knew each other. I’m not sure if helping Asa would be triggering or healing for her.
“I think Callie would be a great fit, Mom. The only thing I’d worry about is her own grief about her brother.”
“You’re right, BeBe. I almost forgot about Dean. Well, let’s let her decide. She’s an adult and can decide what types of patients are best for her mental health. If Callie is available, I think it would be a good idea. Helping Asa to get in touch with who he was before he left will help him come back to us.”
My mom hugs Weston in gratitude. He’s been our rock and a true member of the family. West has always been more than just a boyfriend to me, but in a crisis like this, I realize his love for me and those I love is bottomless.