That would have to stop. When he finally got his ring on Emily’s finger, it would be because she wanted it there, not because her father guilted her into it.
He froze at that thought. Hell, he was screwed for sure now and he knew it. He was going to marry the damned little vixen. He wasn’t a man prone to flights of fancy. Once it came to him, he went with it. Just as he knew that for once in his life he would be giving his grandparents what they dreamed of. A granddaughter-in-law that they approved of. And for years he had found the thought of that unacceptable.
He paced through the bedroom, into the small bathroom, and stared into the mirror at the man he had become. It was something he had avoided for years, staring himself in the eye. Because each time he had, he saw his own failure to protect those who had depended on him so long ago.
He had seen his own self-hatred. His fury. The useless blame he had placed on his parents’ and grandparents’ heads.
At one time, he had wondered if he could ever forgive them. If he could ever think of the family he had lost with something other than wrenching pain.
Tansy had been seven months pregnant when she had died. Their son had died in her womb. And Kell’s parents, his grandparents, hadn’t even come to their funeral. He had stood beside the coffin with the detective he had worked for and raged, virtually alone.
He had cried. On his knees, the last of his youth had drained out of him with the bitter tears he had shed.
He stared at himself now, and saw the man he had become. Reno swore he had never been sane. Kell took chances other men didn’t dare, even SEALs. And he saw the world differently in too many ways to be comfortable for others.
He was no longer the boy who had lost a dream. He was a man now. The emotion building inside him where Emily was concerned was a man’s love for a woman. A man who had finally accepted that no man or woman was completely safe and that too many took their safety for granted. Emily would be the woman who could stand by his side and aid in her own protection.
He was man enough to know he couldn’t continue with the loneliness that fed into his soul. He needed a home, love, a woman he could depend upon, one strong enough to understand the dangers she would always face.
And Emily was that woman.
He couldn’t have imagined wanting more than an affair a week ago.
But now, he wanted that and so much more.
Eleven
SHE COULD FALL IN LOVE with Kell Krieger.
Emily admitted it when she woke up to coffee and cinnamon rolls before the sun had risen the next morning. She was madder than hell at him, her sleep had been restless, her thoughts filled with their argument from the night before, but one thing had become firmly implanted in her mind.
Kell was worming his way into her heart. And he shouldn’t be. She should be as wary of him as she had been of every other man her father had sent her. She knew he was a SEAL. She knew he was dominating, in control, and had the type of personality that would make her bite her nails at any given time.
But he had been her fantasy for so long.
That, and he didn’t try to restrain her.
Not that she had actually tried to do anything that he could protest. Yet. But he hadn’t given the restlessness a chance to take hold of her either. He challenged her, confronted her, and he made her think.
He made her think about herself, her life, and a relationship between her and her father that she admitted was rapidly deteriorating.
He made her realize it was just as much her fault as it was her father’s.
The only question remaining now was, Could she survive without murdering the man in his sleep over time? The only way to answer that was to actually get in a bed with him.
The thought of that had the blood pumping through her body as she showered then drank that first cup of coffee of the day with him. And she realized she was comfortable.
“We’re meeting the Navy helicopter in a few hours.” He checked the watch on his wrist as he wrote something in the small notebook he carried.
He was left-handed, she realized. That shouldn’t have been sexy.
“And we’re flying to Annapolis before going to D.C.” She nodded.
“I want you to give me an extra change of clothes. Jeans, T-shirt, and a long-sleeved shirt as well as underthings. I want them packed in my
emergency pack in case anything goes wrong.”
She stared at him in surprise as he continued to make notations.