“Princess, I—”
Robbie turned back to the fish who wouldn’t judge him or think him stupid for overreacting and being too emotional. But now that one tear had escaped, it was difficult to keep the rest at bay, as the full impact of the afternoon hit him.
A rustling sound met Robbie’s ears, and when he turned to see what it was, the sight of Priest on his knees beside the tub had Robbie sucking in a shocked breath.
“Robert. I shouldn’t have kept this from you,” Priest said, and then rubbed a hand over his weary face.
Robbie swallowed around the lump in his throat, stunned by the vulnerability he saw in Priest’s eyes, but realized he needed more than that. Finding out how little he knew about this man—one of the men he’d given his heart to—had hurt more than he could have ever imagined, and Robbie needed to understand why. Why did it hurt so damn much?
“Then why did you?” Robbie asked, his voice sounding scratchy and odd after not speaking for some time. “I thought I meant more to you than just some—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Priest said, and put a finger under Robbie’s chin. “Don’t let my misjudgment distort what you know to be true, and that’s Julien’s and my feelings for you.”
Robbie wanted nothing more than to tell Priest he believed him. But he couldn’t, because he felt as though he didn’t know anything anymore, and that made him…sad.
“You need to eat,” Robbie said instead, and the shock at his change of course was evident in Priest’s eyes. “You didn’t get to eat today except a couple of cheese sticks. So you should go and eat. I know Jules has something waiting for you. I can smell it.”
Priest’s eyes roamed over Robbie’s face. “Have you eaten?”
“No.”
“Then you should—”
“I need some time,” Robbie interrupted, more serious than he’d ever been in his life. “I need some time to wrap my head around this. To stop being pissed off that you didn’t tell me sooner, because I know that’s not the right response here, even though it’s what I feel. So, can I have that? Can I have some time to think?”
“Yes.” Priest nodded and got to his feet. “Of course. Take all the time you need. Is there anything you want to ask me before I go?”
To stay, Robbie wanted to say. But instead, he looked up at the man towering over him and asked the one thing that had been on his mind since everything had blown up in his face: “Is your name really Joel?”
“Yes,” Priest said. “My birth name is Joel Alexander Donovan. It was legally changed when I was eighteen.”
Wow…okay. It was crazy how much a name shaped the way you saw someone, because while Joel certainly suited the stoic man who was now walking out of the bathroom, Robbie knew he’d never see him as anyone other than his Priest.
Chapter Two
CONFESSION
A man will think of the most heinous things
if it’s to protect the ones he loves.
I know I have.
“HOW DID THAT go?” Julien’s voice found Priest as he exited their bedroom, now wearing his grey sweats and a black t-shirt.
“It didn’t. You were right. He wants some time alone,” Priest said, as he came to a standstill opposite the kitchen island, where he watched his husband plate their dinner.
“I know that’s hard for you. But he’ll come around.” After Julien was done, he slung the dishtowel over his shoulder and slid two of the plates onto the counter. “Pilaf rice and Sole Meunière.”
“It looks delicious,” Priest said, as he sat down on one of the barstools. “Thank you.”
“Je t’en prie.” Julien quickly covered up the third meal for Robbie, before he came around to take the stool beside Priest. “Want to tell me what happened with Henri? It’ll help pass the time.”
Priest picked up his knife and fork and cut into the soft, flaky fish. “Not a whole lot. He doesn’t know who leaked the information about Jimmy. He even had the gall to ask if it was me.”
Julien’s hand halted midway to reaching for the bottle of Riesling sitting on the counter. “He did what? Henri should know better than that.”
“Henri is remembering the man he once knew. Not the one that you know now.” Priest lowered his utensils to the plate and frowned. “Plus, I did think about it.”
Julien put his hand over Priest’s arm where it rested on the counter. “Of course it crossed your mind. Jimmy is a monster, from everything you’ve told me. It’s only natural you would’ve thought about a life without him in it.”
“According to Henri, he doesn’t think it’ll take long before someone else shares that sentiment.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Honestly?” Priest said, and then angled his head in Julien’s direction. “Hopeful. Which makes me no better than Jimmy. But I can’t help it. It was different when he was locked away with no sign of release. I could forget he existed. But this changes everything. The idea that he could walk free? That’s terrifying, and it’s enough to make a man think of the most heinous things if it’s to protect the ones he loves. Even if that has him hoping for one’s death.”