She was shaking. She could almost feel her world shattering around her as she stared down at her still-sleeping daughter. Could she survive it if something happened to her baby?
She couldn't. Amber had matured her. Her daughter had given her a reason to live that hadn't existed before her birth.
Biting her lip, she fought to hold back the fear, the tears. Jonas could smell it. He might be in the shower, but who was to say that his sense of smell wasn't strong enough to feel the complete panic threatening to tear her apart?
Amber had known fear much too soon. She'd known pain too soon. Surely that couldn't bode well for the values she wanted to teach her daughter: acceptance, compassion, a small measure of trust that the world could be kind, at least sometimes.
And perhaps the world was trying to show Rachel otherwise.
"It's going to be okay, Rachel."
Jonas's soft voice had her whirling around to meet the dark cloth of his shirt as it stretched over his chest. Lifting her head, she stared into his eyes as he smoothed a tear from her cheek, which she hadn't even been aware she had shed.
"How can you be certain?" she whispered as his arms came around her. "How can I protect her, Jonas, when he's already done something to hurt her?"
Her fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt as she fought to control the racing of her heart, the shudders beginning to wrack her body.
This was her baby. Her child. So innocent, so dependent on her mother to ensure that she wasn't harmed. She'd already failed her.
"Because I'll ensure it." His tone was so certain, so confident. "We have the finest minds working in Breed research. Scientists that exceptionally intelligent, Rachel, will find out what, if anything, Brandenmore has done. And if they don't"--he gripped her arms, holding her back at she stared down at her, the arrogance and pure determination in his expression brightening his eyes to a neon silver--"if they don't, I'll bring Brandenmore here, and trust me, once I have him here in my territory, he will talk."
That confidence sank into her. She had never seen Jonas break a promise. Even when she had been certain there was no way he could make something he had promised the Breed cabinet to work, he'd still managed it.
He manipulated, he connived. He threatened, he wasn't very good at cajoling, but he knew how to terrify a person. And he always, always did as he said he would.
"She's just a baby," she whispered, trying to explain her fear.
"Shhh." He laid his finger against her lips. "She's our child. She may not share my blood, Rachel, but she's captured my heart, as you've captured my soul. Never doubt, no matter the cost, I will protect our child."
Not her child. Not his child. Their child.
For the first time in Rachel's life, standing there in his arms, she felt that long-buried fear of desertion slowly ease away.
It would never be easy, living with Jonas. It might
never be calm. But as she stood there, his arms wrapped around her, his warmth sheltering her, she knew it would always be exactly where she wanted to be. And something that nothing, or no one, could ever steal from her.
CHAPTER 18
The Leo was waiting on them in the labs, along with Elizabeth Vanderale; their son, Dane; Dr. Ely Morrey; and Dr. Jeffery Amburg.
Rachel had never paid much attention to the labs on previous visits, her attention always splintered by Jonas, that she'd had no time to consider much besides the danger they were facing.
That first night, Amber's unnatural sleep had held her attention solely. The second time she had been there, the discomfort she had felt during the examination Ely had performed and Jonas's unnaturally volatile mood had distracted her.
Now she stood holding Amber as Jonas, Leo and Dane seemed to confront each other.
She saw the lab was now painted in muted greens, tans and fall reds, rather than the stark white it had been when first taken over by the Breeds.
The gurney sheets were brightly colored, real pillows laying at one end. There were comfortable-looking chairs, sheer drapes falling from ceiling to floor in the far corner where a reading chair sat, and heavy, brightly colored screens hiding the necessary equipment needed to aid the scientists.
"You two can bloody well stop getting on my nerves." Dane finally sighed as he glanced from Leo to Jonas, a heavy frown creasing his brow as white brows lowered over his bright, emerald green eyes.
Leo's lips thinned in irritation.
"Leo, I don't have time for this," Elizabeth added weight to her son's disgusted proclamation. "You're here to help, not to make everyone more agitated than they already are."
Leo grunted, but his golden gaze shifted to the child Rachel held. His expression relaxed as his lips seemed to want to tilt into a grin.