He couldn’t believe the words that came from her lips. She had refused to discuss that single night they had been together. She hadn’t spoken to him afterward. In the intervening months she’d only spoken when she had no other choice.
He could feel a curl of shame in his gut.
“It’s not always like that.” He stared at her, feeling the lash to his pride as it seemed to shrivel beneath her withering glare.
It would bounce back easily enough. Del-Rey had immeasurable pride and he knew it. Simply because he knew himself.
“It would never be like that again, Anya.” He would damned well make sure of it. “Do you think that was enough for me? That it was anything close to what I needed?”
She smirked. “Well, you were the one that flipped me on my stomach and decided on the position. Have you learned something since then?”
He snarled silently. “Mate, you’re pushing my temper.”
“Oh come on, Del-Rey.” Dampness glittered in her eyes. “Tell me, those years Sofia was helping you, did you ever fuck her?”
He wasn’t going to lie to her. He couldn’t lie to her, not about this. Something unimportant, something that got him what he knew they both wanted, that was different. Harmless. This wouldn’t be harmless.
“Briefly.”
Her chin lifted and he could smell the tears that sparkled in her eyes. “Did you spend more than a few thrusts and grunts with her? Or was I just the anomaly?”
“Anya.”
“Answer me, Del-Rey.” Her voice was calm, though it throbbed with pain. “Come on, Coyote Man. Tell me. Did you spend hours with her or minutes?”
“What I did to you was unconscionable,” he stated heavily. “And I regret it, Anya, with every fiber of my being.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Her lips trembled before she firmed them quickly. “Hours or minutes, Del-Rey?”
“Hours.”
She was breathing roughly. Pain emanated from her with a scent that was mixed with more than just pride.
“Well, can’t call you a liar now, can I?”
“Anya.” He shook his head. “I would give my life to go back and make that night what it should have been. I lost control, and when it was over, I had no idea how to deal with it, or what I felt coming from you. The mating heat cheated us, together. I tried to explain that to you afterward, after we arrived here. It would never be that way again.”
She stared at him accusingly. “I was a virgin.”
“I know that, baby.” He ached with that knowledge. Ached with a fire and a fury he couldn’t quell, hadn’t quelled since the moment he realized what he had done.
“Leave me alone.”
Anya knew she was going to cry. She had never imagined Del-Rey had slept with a woman she could possibly know, let alone spent hours pleasuring her body. Touching her. Stroking her.
“Anya, we need to talk about this.” He pushed his fingers through his mussed hair. “Ignoring it isn’t going to work. I won’t let you go.”
She shuddered at the sound of his voice, part growl, part rasp of anger.
“
You should have cared!” she cried. “You should have cared enough to at least hold me when you finished. You left me, Del-Rey. Cold and alone, and suffering that damned heat as though something were inside my body tearing it apart. You couldn’t even hold me.”
Oh God, don’t let her cry. Don’t let him see how bad this hurt her.
“You fucking bastard!” Her fists clenched and there was nothing to hit. “You screwed her? The slut of the Chernov facility? You spent hours fucking her? Or just hours giving her pleasure?”
“Enough of this!” He crossed the room, gripped her arms and gave her a firm shake. And she wanted to hate him. She wanted to hate him so bad it ate into her soul like acid, and all she could do was hurt, because one of the few people in this world that she did hate had fucked the man she loved.