“They can’t help you, Amanda. Nothing can break that bond with me no matter how much you wish it. ”
“It could create a cure. If nothing else, something that will ease the symptoms,” she argued back. “If not for me, then for someone else. ”
“There is no cure needed. ” He wanted to bare his teeth in a primal snarl of rage and only barely managed to contain it. “Why are you so desperate to leave me? Isn’t it enough for me to know you don’t want me?”
She gave him a look of incredulity. “You think this is just about you? That I don’t want you? Wouldn’t want you even if weren’t for this heat?” Her lips thinned, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Kiowa, I want to know that what I feel, that what I see in you, is more than just a biological urge gone haywire. And if I can’t have it for myself then at least my children will. Now tell those animals to move. ” Her voice hardened.
The finger that poked into his chest surprised him, stilling the anger long enough for a germ of amusement to enter. She stood before him like an enraged coyote female, her eyes glittering, her teeth bared in her anger and that little finger braced in his chest.
“What about me? What about the rest of the women who endure this? What if something happened to you, moron?” Her voice rose then, and he saw something akin to fear in her eyes. “What do I do then, Kiowa? How much pain will I endure then?”
“Nothing will happen to me. ” He wouldn’t allow it. Not now.
“God, you are so arrogant. ” She brought her hands to her head, holding it as though in pain. “Forget it. Just forget plain reason. Read my lips instead. I am not fucking you until I have those tests done. ”
“I’ll kill the bastard who hurts you,” he yelled back, consumed by his anger now. “Do you hear me, Amanda? I don’t care, be it male or female, I will not be able to control my fury. ”
He was nose to nose with her, forcing himself to hold his hands back to keep from shaking her to make her understand.
“Get over it!” she snapped. “Now get them back up here and then walk away. Go hunting. Hell, go get drunk, I don’t give a damn. But if they aren’t up here in fifteen minutes flat, then those mangy wolves can bite my ass or clear out, because I’m going to that lab and I’ll get the damned things myself. ”
Son of a bitch. Dammit. Fuck. His dick was throbbing like a toothache, his instincts were screaming at him to fuck her into silence, but something else was warning him that he wasn’t going to win this fight. It was what he saw in her eyes. It was one of the very things that had drawn him to her to begin with, that spark of determination, of strength.
She had run from him because of his need to protect her, and now she was in his face, snarling back at him, willing to risk even his rage, which she had no idea what it would entail, to do what she felt was right. To do something that could give her the escape from him that he knew she was looking for. He moved back slowly, stilling the pain inside him as he looked down at the wolves.
“Go. ” The single order released them from duty and sent them loping back to Dash, wherever he might be. Then he turned to her. “The labs are in the main house,” he said softly. “I can’t go with you, Amanda. As much as you may not believe me, I would kill one of those doctors the first time I heard you cry out. ”
He turned and stalked back into the house. The eggs and ham were left on the table as he paced into the bedroom, drawing in her scent, the presence he feared losing in his life. And he forced himself to wait.
* * * * *
He didn’t understand. Amanda swiped at the tears that fell down her face as she stalked down the graveled road. He was so stubborn, so supremely male that she couldn’t find the words to explain it. She was falling in love with him. Stupid fool that she was, in less than a few days, her heart was reaching out to him, her soul yearning for him. And it wasn’t just the heat, though that was strong enough to drive even a determined woman insane. No, it went deeper, far too deep for Amanda to ignore the consequences of what they were facing.
As he had said, if word got out of the mating heat, the uncontrollable hunger, the need that burned through even the strongest defenses, then the Breeds would never be safe. To protect her life and the man she was falling in love with, answers would have to be found. And now was the time to find them. Now, when the heat burned inside her like a living brand, and left her shaking, weak from the hunger for his touch.
How she had left him alone at the cabin, she wasn’t certain. Hell, she didn’t even know if she was going to make it to the estate house at the bottom of the hill her legs were so weak. Everything inside her was screaming at her to go back to him, to touch him, take him inside her. She couldn’t stop crying either. She felt as though it were ripping her soul out to walk away from him like this. To leave him alone, seeing the pain inside him and not knowing how to ease it. Getting him to talk to her was like pulling teeth. Not that talking was so easy when lust ripped at her loins like a hungry beast.
Soon, she promised herself, as soon as these tests were endured and the heat eased, they would talk. If this was nature’s way of pairing the Breeds with one particular woman, then Amanda had to trust that nature had paired her as well, with a man who would love her with the same strength and desperation that she was beginning to feel for him.
“Amanda. ”
She came to a stop as she realized a small utility vehicle had driven up beside her. Looking up, she met Merinus’s concerned gaze.
“Kiowa called down to the house. Do you need a ride?”
“He called?” Confusion filled her, but she knew how easy it was to become confused when the desire was climbing to such heights.
“Come on, Amanda, get in. I’ll take you back to Kiowa if you like. ” Her voice was somber, quiet. Amanda forced herself into the small vehicle.
“No. ” She shook her head, forcing herself to think, to finish what she had begun. “The tests. We have to do those tests. ”
“Are you sure? Amanda, you don’t have to do this. ”
But she did. This was her life. Possibly her children’s lives. She did have to do this.
“Yes. Yes I do,” she whispered, raising her eyes back to Merinus’s. “For myself and for Kiowa, I have to do this. ”
Chapter Twenty-Three