For a moment, I didn't know whether I should be relieved or devastated. Part of me knew that at eighteen years old, I was much too young to be pregnant. Even if James did support me, it'd be a major change in my life. I still wanted to finish college, and it'd be really hard to be a good mother at the same time as I was attending classes.
But the other part of me wanted this more than anything. James was the best man to be a father that I could ever hope for. I had been feeling my belly every day for the past two weeks, and I had known that there was a baby already growing in there. I knew that I was ready, especially with James' help.
I looked down at the pregnancy test again, feeling a sense of loss already.
Was that a second line there?
I squinted my eyes. Was it just my own hope that I was pregnant that was fooling me? It really looked like a faint second line there. I couldn't be sure. The only other person within walking distance was the cashier, and I doubted she would appreciate me just walking up with a used pregnancy test and asking if she saw a line.
I looked as hard as I could, but really couldn't tell if it was just my imagination. My heart fluttered with hope as I set it down on the toilet paper dispenser and snapped a picture of it on my phone. I didn't quite know how I would figure it out, but I knew I had to. It might have to wait until I got back to New York, but I knew I would have to find out one way or another...
Chapter Two
I tossed the pregnancy test in the trash and left the drug store quickly. Part of me wanted to keep it as a memento, but I realized how crazy it sounded to want to carry around a stick that I had peed on. I walked outside in the cold, unsure of where to go next. I popped a stick of gum in my mouth to get rid of the throw-up taste from earlier and thought about what to do next.
Part of me wanted to run right back to James, to let him in on my possible discovery. Part of me was still mad at him for jacking off to pictures of Nicole. And part of me knew that he would try to tell me that it was too early to make any kind of assumptions.
Besides, I told him that I was going to see Anne today, and that was exactly what I had intended to do.
I pulled out my phone and texted Anne.
Hey, was hoping we could hang out today since I'm in town. Are you working today?
A text came back almost immediately.
No! Come on over! I'm walking distance from James' place, here's the address.
Just three blocks away. I was feeling a ton better, no longer thinking I was going to throw up. I felt downright chipper by now. My breath was fresh, and I was newly invigorated by what I knew I would now refer to as “The Ghostly Second Line”. I texted back.
Great, see you soon!
***
The address led to the tiniest little yellow house I had ever seen. It was adorable and exactly what I expected from someone like Anne. I could see plants hanging in the windows and the exterior was beautiful.
I knocked on the door but she was already waiting. “Come in! I'm so glad you came by. I didn't have anything planned but playing my guitar today, so this is a nice surprise.”
I stepped into the warm house and loved it immediately. Pieces of art hung from every wall in the tiny living room. A staircase led upstairs to where I assumed the bedroom was, and a kitchen was at the far end of the house. It was incredibly compact, but everything was there.
Anne looked perfectly comfortable, wearing a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. “I already have some hot water on the stove, would you like some tea?” she asked, being the perfect host.
“I would love some,” I answered. She smiled and turned on a heel, going into the kitchen and getting out another mug. I kept looking around, admiring all the knick knacks. Anne looked young, certainly older than me at 18 years old, but I figured no older than twenty-two or twenty-three. Yet it looked like years of traveling had taken her to every corner of the globe. Maybe she just acquired these pieces off eBay or something. I had the feeling that wasn't the case, though.
I stood admiring one piece for a minute when she came up behind me with a mug. I smiled and took it from her. “You like this one?” she asked. I nodded. “I got it when I was in Haiti a couple years ago doing disaster relief.”
I was impressed. I took a sip of tea. It was unlike anything I had ever tasted before. It was sweet, but with a hint of something I couldn't put my finger on. “What's in this?” I asked.
She looked concerned. “You don't like it?”
“I didn't say that, it's just different is all.”
She smiled. “I'm afraid I developed a taste for it when I went to Amsterdam. I used to spend like half my paycheck importing it in before I toned down my habit.”
I hadn't realized it was so expensive. “Oh, I didn't mean-”
“Oh don't say that
I shouldn't have. Your brother bought me this box of tea anyway.”