But somehow, cost what it would, she was going to have to find the strength to do just that.
A bleak look crossed her eyes.
She couldn’t cope. That was the only thing she knew about this whole situation.
But why? That was the question that wrung her mind. Why?
Why had Nikos Theakis seduced her?
It didn’t make sense. He could have his pick of women—women from his own world—so why bother with her, a woman he openly despised? Surely not just to prove to her that he could? He hadn’t liked her attempt to reject him—was that it? His male ego demanded her submission to him? Was that all it was? He wanted her to be as susceptible to him as every other woman must surely be?
Well, she thought heavily, he had all the proof he needed of that now! His ego could rest easy—she could no more say no to him than honey could refuse to melt over a hot spoon!
Restlessly, she got to her feet, starting to pace around the room. The blankness was leaving her now, and she wished it wasn’t. It was like anaesthesia wearing off…
With every portion of her body she could feel the physical evidence of what she had done—her muscles were stretched, her lips beestung, and between her thighs a low throbbing beat to her pulse. She headed for the bathroom. A shower would help, surely? And it would give her something to do—something other than letting impossible thoughts go round and round in her head, like rats in a trap.
When she emerged from the shower they were still going round, but they no longer mattered. How could it matter that she did not know why Nikos Theakis was so determined to prove her vulnerability to him? How could it matter that he only had to touch her for her to melt into his caress?
Because from now on it wasn’t going to happen. From now on, even if she had to lie and be evasive, say whatever it took, she would not spend one minute alone with Nikos. Not a single minute.
She dared not.
She knew it was cowardice, but so what? If that was what was necessary to keep her safe, but still with Ari, then so be it. It would be hard, but so what? If she could just hold to her line then she would be safe. There was nothing Nikos could do to her if she refused ever to be alone with him.
It was either that or leaving Sospiris. And she wouldn’t be chased off by him! She wouldn’t! This was her only opportunity to see her nephew, her sister’s son, and nothing would make her give that up!
Resolution filled her. She was here for Ari—that was all, and that was what she must remember. Nothing else.
She kept her mind focussed on that resolution as, deliberately trying to divert her mind from the tormenting channels it was running in so fixedly, she occupied herself in catching up with her correspondence—including the large number of postcards she had bought on Maxos. Writing them did her good—it reminded her of the world far beyond Sospiris, touching essential base with her real life.
She ought to go down for nursery tea, she knew, but she was too chary of Tina’s astute eyes. Surely it must be branded across her forehead just what she had gone and done? No, Ari had his playmate. He would not notice his aunt’s absence particularly, and she had already said she had a migraine. She had better make the most of it and keep to her room. Hiding.
She knew that was what she was doing but she needed to do it. Strengthen her resolve. Prepare her mental barriers.
And pray they would hold.
Nikos strolled along the corridor, his mood enjoyably anticipatory. It had been annoying to discover, on emerging from his office for his mother’s pre-prandial drinks, that Ann was apparently in her room with a migraine, and was not coming down to dinner. Damn—evidently Ann had indeed understood the need for discretion. If he’d only known sooner she was in her room, and not with Ari, he could easily have slipped along there at some point. He’d had to endure a dinner without her that had seemed to go on for ever until now, pleading some late night work he had to attend to, he could head straight for Ann’s room.
Outside her door, he knocked briefly, then walked in. Already he was eager for her—the beach chalet seemed far too long ago.
His eyes went to her immediately. She was in bed waiting for him, idly flicking through an English language magazine.
‘Kalispera, Ann,’ he said, as he walked into the room.
The magazine dropped as if it were a hot stone, and her head snapped up. Shock emptied her face. He strolled across the room and sat down on the bed.
‘I’m sorry you’ve had to wait for me—I only learnt at dinner that you were keeping to your room. I’d been working till then. My apologies.’ He leant forward, unable to resist the pleasure of making skin contact, drawing the back of his hand down her cheek.
She jerked, as if an electric shock had gone through her. Nikos smiled. That was good. Responsive.
Just the way he wanted her.
Then, as if his touch had thrown a switch, she spoke.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing here?’ Her voice was half a croak, half a whisper.
He gave a low laugh. ‘Don’t panic. I’ve been very discreet, the way I told you we would need to be.’