“I take my constituents’ concerns very seriously,” Xander said in his formal politician’s voice, and then he propped his arm on the back of her chair and leaned in close to her.
The movement brought a warm rush of his cologne to her nose, reminding her of the night before, when she’d buried her face in his shoulder and shouted the roof down. His light golden eyes were penetrating, his voice no more than a low rumble only she could hear.
“But I’ve told you before...there is no way, no how, I’d ever forget about you, Rose.”
Nine
“I hope that wasn’t too painful,” Xander said as they got out of his SUV at her apartment.
Rose took out her keys and paused on the sidewalk. “Why would it be painful? I like your brother and his fiancée.”
“I know.” He followed her up the walkway to her place and they went inside together. “The conversation dipped into some places that seemed to make you uncomfortable. Like you moving to D.C. I could tell you didn’t care for that idea. If I had the kind of job where I could move back here, I would, but I—”
“No,” Rose interrupted. “It’s not that I don’t want to move. It’s not like we have a lot going on here. Moving there would be the only way for you to spend quality time with your son. That makes sense. It was just difficult having that conversation without being able to mention that our son was a key element of us moving down there. And why I’d be able to afford it. And why we seemed to be moving so fast when we’ve only had a few dates. Your brother seems to think you’re in love when that’s hardly the case.”
Xander snorted. Since when was she the expert on his emotions? Frankly, he didn’t know how he felt. He wanted Rose. He didn’t want to leave for D.C. and face a lonely bed without her. Was he in love with her? He didn’t think so. He had feelings for her, but he couldn’t know how much of it was genuine and how much of it was the situation and their past together. Loving her would make their situation easier. They could get married, have a real family together. He liked the idea of that. He just wasn’t sure how it would work in practice with his long hours and brutal pace.
What he did know was that he didn’t care for how easily she dismissed their relationship. “How do you know how I feel, Rose?”
She set her purse down on the coffee table and shook her head. “I don’t know, Xander. We’ve talked about our life with Joey and spending this week together and now maybe moving to D.C...but I’m just not sure where the two of us are going with this.”
Xander reached out and gently cupped her cheek. He focused on her dark eyes, which overflowed with doubt. “We don’t have to know all the answers right away. There’s no rush. I asked you out on a date because I wanted to see you again. I’ve regretted losing you since the moment you walked away. I just didn’t know what to do about it. When I saw you standing there at the diner, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to see if the magic was still there.”
“Is it?”
Xander stepped closer until their bodies were nearly touching and wrapped his arms around her waist. He tugged her tight against him, pressing the firm heat of his desire into her stomach. “Oh yeah.”
A soft smile curled her lips as she reached up and laced her fingers together at the base of his neck. She deliberately pressed forward, grinding against his sensitive parts until he had to close his eyes and swear softly. Xander had had Rose the past two nights. Multiple times. But it didn’t matter. He’d thought his enthusiasm for her years ago had had more to do with teenage hormones than anything else, but he couldn’t blame that now. He had to face the truth.
Rose was the most precious creature he’d ever held in his arms and his body craved her touch. The more he had of her, the more he wanted. A part of him wished he weren’t so responsible. Then maybe he could throw caution to the wind and let himself fall hopelessly in love with this woman. The other part of him urged him to hold back. Something would go wrong, and when it did, they wouldn’t have the luxury of just walking away from one another again. They had a son to consider.
But he knew, deep down, that he couldn’t walk away from Rose again. The first time had been a tragic mistake, however necessary it had seemed then. This time he wasn’t sure he had the strength to leave while she still wanted him to stay. Somehow, some way, he would find a way to keep her in his arms where she belonged.
“Joey is important, but this isn’t all about him. I asked you out before I knew about him. I kissed you in the parking lot before I knew about him. These last two weeks haven’t just been about our son. They’ve been about us, too. I want to see where this can go, Rose.”