Rose sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. “I found out that I was pregnant about a week after you left for college. I was about to leave myself and I wasn’t sure what to do. I had broken up with you. You were leaving to do great things.... I decided to just start school and figure it out later. I had time.”
“You had a few months, not a few years, Rose.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness of betrayal from his voice.
“I know. I spent a lot of time at the hospital talking to my mother about my situation. It kept her mind off the treatments and how poorly she felt. She walked me through all my options, but I knew that I wanted to keep our baby. It might be all of you I ever had. She urged me to contact you. You know how moms are. She didn’t have much time left and worried about me doing this on my own. She thought you would marry me if you knew.”
“I would have.”
Rose turned and looked him straight in the eye. “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Xander had a hard time processing what she was saying. “You didn’t want to marry me?”
“Of course I wanted to marry you. I wanted to go to D.C. with you, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want you to marry me just because of the baby. That wasn’t the path you were on, Xander. Look at all you’ve done in the last eleven years! All that you’ve accomplished... None of that would’ve happened if you had come home and married me.”
Xander opened his mouth to argue with her, but he was struck with the truth of her words. She was right. Even if she had moved to D.C. with him and they’d gotten an apartment in family housing, finishing school would’ve been challenging. He’d had a full-ride scholarship with books, room and board, but it wouldn’t have covered baby food and clothes and diapers. He would’ve had to work. It was hard enough to finish school without the distraction of a young family at home.
“It wasn’t your decision to make,” he said instead.
“I couldn’t let you give up everything you worked so hard for because we made one little mistake.”
“Little? He’s ten years old.”
“I know that I should’ve told you later, maybe, when he was older and you’d finished school. But the longer you keep a secret, the harder it is to tell. I didn’t even know where to start.”
“So you just waited until you had no choice? No wonder you didn’t want to go to dinner and didn’t mention your son all night. Even when you had the chance, you didn’t want to tell me. You’ve had all these years to do it, but no, you wait for the worst possible time. I’m about to start my reelection campaign. My book comes out in two days. I don’t need any scandals right now.”
He watched Rose’s expression crumble into tears and his chest ached for her, even though he didn’t want it to. She had lied to him. Hidden his child from him. And yet she had done it for him. She’d sacrificed her own dreams, her own life, to raise Joey on her own and allow him to live his dream.
He wanted to be angry with her. To shake her and let out some of his pent-up aggression, but he just couldn’t do it. Instead he sank down onto the foot of the bed. “Please stop crying,” he asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Everything I’ve done was to protect your dream. It never occurred to me that Joey and I would still be a liability to your success this far down the road.”
“Well, we’re lucky, I think. The reporters got bored with me very early on and spend most their time digging up other people’s scandals. But the spotlights will be on me during the book tour and the reelection.”
“Can we keep it a secret for a while? No one else needs to know yet, right?”
“Perhaps. If we can keep this quiet for a little while, I might be able to defuse the damage. Compared to the things my colleagues have gotten into, this is hardly headline news.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice quiet.
“Who knows that I’m his father?” Hopefully, the information hadn’t spread too far. The fewer people who knew, the easier it would be to contain it. Given that Molly didn’t know, it had to be pretty hush-hush.
“For certain? Just the two of us, since Mom passed a few weeks after he was born. My brother knows, but I’ve never told him directly. He’s just pieced it all together over the years.”
“How did you explain it to everyone else?”
“I went away to college. I came back a couple years later with a little boy. When people asked, I told them a story about an ill-fated fling at school with a jerk that didn’t love me. Everyone seemed to take it at face value. At the time, there were bigger stories than the father of my child.”