“You are handsome, Brody.”
“You saying it is like my mom saying it. But I can hardly believe any of you, especially Sam. If it wasn’t for the fact that she backed her words with actions, I might never have thought she was serious. She touched me, Agnes. She touched my scars. I didn’t know what to think.”
“She saw in you what I see. There’s a lot more to you than your scars, Brody.”
“It all happened so quickly. She kissed me one day. I invited her to my house for dinner, and the next thing I knew, I flew her to Joya Verde. Sam was everything I’d hoped for and feared I would never have. I guess I was so afraid to lose her that I pushed her away.”
“Did she tell you why she wanted you to see that doctor?”
“She tried to. She said something about wanting me to be happy and accused me of being a miserable hermit. I was too angry to listen at the time. All my brain could process was that I wasn’t good enough for her the way I am. Despite everything she said and did, she wanted me to be fixed.”
“You know, she might be on to something there.” Agnes reached out and took Brody’s hand. “You’re not happy. And don’t tell me that you are. I’ve worked for you for years, and I can’t ever say that I saw you content. You’re very successful and comfortable with the way you’ve structured your life. But what kind of life can you have living all alone?”
“I thought Sam would be enough to make me happy.”
“And?”
“She was. To a point. But then I realized that having her in my life only solved part of the problem. She got upset that day because she couldn’t introduce me to her friends. I realized later that this relationship was awesome for me but horribly unfair to her. I was asking her to live her life hidden away, but I refused to make even one step toward living my life with her in the open.”
“She probably thought that the doctor could help you feel more comfortable with yourself. Sure, maybe she had some selfish reasons for wanting you to be normal, but can you blame her? How many things would she miss out on in her life because you couldn’t be there with her? Would you guys elope alone instead of having the big wedding she always dreamed of? Or would she give birth to your children by herself because you wouldn’t go to the hospital with her?”
Brody had been so shortsighted. He’d spent so much time alone that he never really considered how his life and his future would play out with someone else in it. Sam had every right to ask more of him, and yet she hadn’t. She’d only wanted him to be as confident in himself as she was in him.
“My knee-jerk reaction is to say ‘of course not,’ but when I really think about it, I know you’re right. How did I expect to continue on this way? This life I’ve lived was okay for me, but I can’t subject someone else to it. I know that now. But by the time I put everything together it was too late. I said terrible things to her. I literally threw her out of the office, Agnes. She’s never going to forgive me for that.”
“Do you think she loves you?”
Brody thought back to the painful tears he’d seen in Sam’s eyes as he walked away from her. It looked like her heart was breaking, but he couldn’t know for sure. “I’m not certain how she felt. She never told me that she loved me.”
“Did you tell her that you were in love with her?”
“No,” he admitted. “But I hadn’t really figured it out yet. I haven’t done this before, Agnes.”
The older woman smiled sympathetically. “I know, honey. This kind of thing is never easy, whether it’s a first love or your fifth. But you’ve realized you made a mistake and you love her. So now there’s only one question left to ask.”
Brody thought he knew what she was going to say, but he let her say it first. He had to figure out what the answer was going to be. It wasn’t going to be easy.
“What are you going to do about it?”
* * *
Sam was grateful for her new job. Amanda had helped her find a position at Matt’s investment firm. She was currently supporting the accounting department. It was a temp-to-hire position, but that was fine with her. She didn’t intend to do anything that might jeopardize this job, so she would be a permanent employee before too long. And since her new boss was a plump woman in her fifties who did nothing but talk about her grandchildren, there was no temptation. It was perfect.
Her first day had gone as well as could be expected. She had been worried at first. Not about the job, but about her ability to keep herself together. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem, but the past week hadn’t been a particularly good one for her.