together in ways you would never understand. He’s my person, Nora. He’s my person, my only person, and I know I haven’t treated him the way he deserves, but I was being stupid, and now I see that. Now I know that I have to do everything I can to make sure he knows how much I love him and appreciate him.”
Her words make me shudder. I’m going to throw up, I can feel it coming. Acid burns the base of my throat. I can’t listen to her talk about him like this. I physically can’t handle listening to her say his name or explain the depth of their connection.
I stay silent, unable to offer her any words.
She starts talking again, and I wish I could press a button and turn my ears off.
“To you he’s a piece of a game. You’re just having fun with him, and he’s just having fun with you. Fun, that’s it,” she says matter-of-factly. “But to me, he’s my other half. He’s the one person I can count on in this world. I have years and years with him, and even though you may think you can, you can’t compete with that.” She pauses. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
For some reason I believe her. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“I’ve lost my mom and my brother, and my dad is going to die any day now. I can’t lose Landon, too.” Her voice breaks into full sobs, and she covers her face with her hands. Strangers stare at us as they pass.
When did I become such a shitty person?
“Please, Nora. Give me another chance to be who he needs me to be.” She wipes her hand across her nose and looks back up at me. Her shoulders are shaking with sobs, and I can’t help but feel for her.
Who am I to come into their life and tear them apart? She may be awful, but there’s a soft part of her that always drew me to her. I don’t hate her; I never have. I just knew she didn’t deserve Landon. But now that she’s in front of me, sobbing into her shaking hands, who am I to decide that?
She’s right, I don’t know him.
She does.
I don’t love him.
She does.
I don’t deserve him.
And, maybe, she does.
“Fine.” I pull her hands away from her face.
She wipes her eyes again and looks at me. I don’t know what else to say to her.
“I’ll go away,” I promise, and walk away, blending into a pool of strangers before she can stop me.