Landon doesn’t press upon the truth hidden beneath that name; instead he moves on to another question.
“Why did you just assume I would think the worst of you if you told me about Amir? Why did you make that choice for me, and not give me the benefit of the doubt?”
Why does he always ask me questions that require such naked answers? Landon is the only person I know who just says what he means; he has no problem talking about wrongs and rights and admitting faults. The world could use more Landons.
“I wasn’t meaning to assume the worst of either of us. I just expected it. I didn’t know any better. When I met you, I wasn’t at a point in my life where I was looking for anything other than a friendship. I have so much on my shoulders, so much responsibility. I didn’t just have myself to consider, so I couldn’t stay out at bars until three a.m. I was dealing with problems that I would never have wished upon my worst enemy and trying to do the right thing by my husband, my family. I had no time to fall in love with anyone.”
Landon’s shoulders flinch ever so slightly, but I notice.
“I told you from the beginning, Nora . . .” His voice soothes a fraction of my need for him. I never imagined I would miss him so much after such a short period of time. “I wanted you to open up to me. I wouldn’t have judged you.”
He turns his face to me, and his expression slices me to the bone. A face like his wasn’t made for sadness. “I would have thought you were brave.”
I struggle for breath. I should look away from him, I really should.
“I would have thought you were selfless.”
When his words take shape, I feel like they’re unraveling me. My muscles are unwinding, and the weight on my shoulders is disappearing.
His eyes don’t waver from mine, not even for a flicker of a moment. “I would have thought that you were a strong, incredible woman. I would have tried to take some of the burden from your shoulders and place it onto mine.”
“I don’t think you can carry any more,” I say softly.
“I can try.” Landon shrugs, and I try to imagine how this could possibly work.
Does he love me? Are we too far away from that now?
Does my life have room for one more person? Is it fair for me to bring Landon into my life before I’ve even fully figured out how to handle it myself?
“I would like to meet him,” Landon says, standing.
So much is happening. My normal, quiet day has been flipped upside down by this boy’s unexpected arrival. Speechless, I nod and stand up. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to hold myself up without the support of the couch, but I use every ounce of strength I have, straighten my back, and cross the living, moving toward the door to the patio.
Without a word, he follows me through the massive kitchen and outside. He mutters something about cabbage, but I don’t turn around. I don’t know what to say or why he’s here.
“I was reading to him,” I softly explain as we approach Amir, and Jennifer scampers off.
The expansive garden feels smaller with the presence of both of these men. The two of them are so important to me, in very different ways. The flowers around us smell even stronger, look even brighter, now that Landon is here. I’ve always wanted a garden, which has always been my qualm with living in the city. I love flowers and trees and the smell of pollen and nature, but I love being able to walk to a coffee shop, too.
“Landon, this is Amir.”
I gesture to my husband and watch Landon’s calm smile stay right there on his face. He looks straight into the eyes of Amir and introduces himself. He doesn’t seem to be the least bit uncomfortable. I envy that about Landon, that he can be the calming breath of life into every soul he encounters.
I watch him, studying his face as he smiles and bends down and grabs the book from the soft grass, sits on the bench next to Amir, and cracks it open where I left my little bookmark.