We both should have known that this wasn’t going to work since that embarrassing mishap.
“No. After that,” I say, hoping it will sting a little less.
A low noise comes from Dakota’s throat.
After a few more awkward beats, she turns her back to me and lies down on her bed.
When I lie back on my own bed for the night, I hear her say, “I slept with Aiden.”
The words float to me, and my brain tries to scramble a response to my heart before my mouth gets the message and I say something I can’t take back. I’m not exactly sure what to think, let alone to say. My insides are all turned around, and I don’t think I’m supposed to be sad about this, and I don’t think I’m supposed to feel like a volcano erupted inside me. But again, I’m not the strongest of knights, so it kind of hurts more than I thought it would. It’s a little hard to describe the way I feel about her sleeping with a guy I know, a guy I despise.
Out of all the guys in this massive freaking city, she had to be sleeping with the one guy I don’t like at all. From his arrogant smirk to his meticulously quaffed white-blond hair, he oozes everything I can’t stand. Why him?
I look at Dakota’s side of the room and close my eyes. I think of Nora’s body on my lap, soft and aroused in my arms. I think of the way she moaned when I put my tongue on her. Her hair messy, her pouty lips swollen and soft red, her bright red shirt and sexy black pants. I think of the way she laughs when I nerd out on her and the way her skin rises into tiny bumps when I run my fingers across it. I don’t regret a moment with her; it’s not fair for me to believe Dakota can’t share similar moments with someone else. No matter how hard I try to think of the perfect words for her, there’s nothing more I can say to Dakota that will make this better.
Maybe we aren’t supposed to live happily ever after with our first love after all.
Chapter Thirty-five
IT’S BEEN A LONG MONTH since I got back from Michigan. Everything in my life has changed. My mom had my little baby sister last week, and I just returned from a weekend trip to visit them. Abigail Scott is the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen. It’s insane the way my family has grown and changed so drastically in the last two years. I would never have imagined that my mom would fall in love again, or that I would ever have another sibling, let alone two. The tiny little girl is easier to get along with than Hardin, for sure. With everything that’s happened between Hardin and Tessa recently, the two of them aren’t speaking. Which only makes things even more difficult for me as unofficial middleman.
Tessa started sleeping on the couch and is back to hating music again. It reminds me of Twilight when Bella Swan rips out the radio in her truck with her bare hands. I can understand how she felt, and I wouldn’t blame Tessa for ripping her headphones to shreds. I’ve signed up for HBO GO and been binge-watching Game of Thrones, and with the end of each episode I think of Nora and how incredible it would be to watch it with her and talk about our theories and rant about the latest death. I started the show three weeks ago but now only have two episodes left. During the first few episodes, every time I saw Ned Stark, I wondered what Boromir was doing away from the White Tower. It took me a moment to get reoriented there.
Nora hasn’t reached out to me, and I haven’t reached out to her. Tessa stays silent between us—a middlewoman of her own sort—but she’s so lost in her own pain that I don’t even think she knows what’s going on between us. Well, nothing is going on between us anymore. Nothing at all.
This morning when I get to work, Aiden is behind the bar. He’s pouring a cold brew into a cup full of ice. Surprisingly, my dislike for him hasn’t grown since I got back from Michigan. I’ve tried to focus on his positive traits, but searching those out took too long. Even though he slept with Dakota, I feel indifferent toward him and don’t want to bother.
“Hey, bro,” he says, and I wonder if he even knows that I dated Dakota at all. The thought occurs to me that she may not want him to know about her past, or maybe they were never emotionally attached enough for her to talk about that. Maybe she just slept with him—the way I did with Nora.
My BS alarm goes off in my head. I didn’t just sleep with Nora—I fell in love with her and couldn’t stop. Even now, I’m still mourning the loss of her presence in my life. I miss her every time I smell cookies or walk into my kitchen. The chairs hold memories of her straddling me, of me on my knees in front of her, and when I look at the counters, I see her long hair cascading down her back, a seductive smile on her lips.
“Hey,” I finally respond to Aiden as I step over a pile of boxes. Of course he didn’t put them away. He waited for me to get here because he knows I’ll clean them up. Of course I’ll unpack the coffee beans and put away the straws. Of course I’ll unwrap the cups and put away the bottles of flavored syrups.
I clock in and tie my apron. At least Posey will be here in thirty minutes.
I watch the minutes tick on and on, and after an hour, she’s here, the lobby is still empty, and I’ve gotten around to unpacking the boxes. Lila is sitting quietly at a booth, rolling a little car on the table. Posey nods along to a man in a suit who’s talking about how delicious the espresso is in Europe. We’re pretty slow today, and I have a paper to finish tonight. My reward to myself for finishing the essay is to watch another episode on my laptop.
I start sweeping, and a few minutes later when a customer comes into the shop, I walk over to help Posey. She stands behind the register, and I stand by the line, ready to take the cup and start the drink. The sound of a familiar voice makes the hairs on my neck stand straight up.
“An ice-blended caramel latte,” Dakota says. She looks around behind Posey, and I wonder if she’s looking for Aiden. Should I tell her that he’s not here?
When her eyes fall on me, she gives me a smile. It’s not unfriendly, but it’s not the familiar smile I’m used to getting from her.
“Hey,” I say, and quickly busy my hands. I grab the cup from Posey and push the ice scoop into the bin.