I want to tell her everything.
But I can only tell her this.
Chapter Forty-Two
Luna
Two hours later, we don our shoes, grab our chocolate, and walk to Holden's place.
His dad's place, I guess. Their mom died when Holden was a kid. I don't know Forest or Ariel enough to know the gritty details. But I know it messed them up in different ways.
Forest is all brooding and quiet.
Holden is a ridiculous troublemaker.
And Ariel is, uh, lacking in social graces. Not that it hindered her happily ever after. She and her baby daddy Chase are the only other people here.
Well, besides their daughter Charlotte and the host. Who's playing with his niece.
Poor kid. They put her in the worst outfits. Sure, she's a few months old. Does that mean she can't have style?
Daisy joins her boyfriend.
I give them space. The kid is cute, yeah, but it's their family, not mine. No matter what Daisy or Ollie or even Gabe says about how I'm part of the family, it's not all the way true.
No matter how much I hate it, my parents are my family.
I have to sort that out eventually.
Soon.
But not today. Today, I'm at a party with my best friend. I'm enjoying that. No matter how much I want to find Oliver and mount him.
Ariel spots me. Motions to the bar. Want a drink?
Uh, yeah. My heart is already racing. My head is a mess. I want to be here, hanging out with Daisy, like everything is the same.
And I'm terrified she's going to realize the guy who drives me wild is her brother.
But then…
It's different, drinking around Oliver now. Wrong.
I meet Ariel at the bar anyway. It's not like the new mother is going to give me shit about skipping booze.
She's in a mermaid costume. It's pretty racy, considering. (Or maybe not. What do I know about postpartum fashion?)
A purple bikini top and a high waist skirt that hugs her stomach and hips. She's still pretty small—she was really skinny before she got pregnant—but she's softer around the middle now.
What is that like? Seeing your body change?
Scary or thrilling?
I've never had strong feelings about kids—maybe one day—but pregnancy freaks me out.
"You look hot," I say. "Total MILF material. I'm sure Chase appreciates it." Not that it matters. But she's just like Daisy. Mentioning her boyfriend keeps her distracted.
She smiles oh my God, I love him so much. "He looks good, huh?"
The same costume he wore last year. A black ninja outfit. Supposedly, he's some brooding super hero, but I can't say I keep track of the Marvel films or TV shows. "He's kind of tall for a ninja."
She laughs. "Yeah, but look at his ass."
"You won't threaten to drop me if I touch him."
"Could I intimidate you?"
Well, no. "Maybe your baby daddy has been training you in the art of karate."
"The pregnant woman learning self-defense?"
"Maybe it's a cover."
She laughs. "Well, thank you. For assuming I'm capable. People like to fuss."
"Him especially." I follow her gaze to her boyfriend. "His ass does look great."
"Doesn't it?" She turns to the bar. "What are you drinking?"
I'm not even sure what's in my usual drink. Oliver always mixes it for me. I have my cell and Google. And I really do need some calm. But…
"Luna? You okay?"
"Uh, do you know how to fix a Negroni?"
"No. But I'm sure Holden does." Her smile shifts. Still one of love. But more I love my ridiculous, difficult brother. "Or are you avoiding him?"
Only Ariel would just say that. "Not avoiding."
"You're looking around. Waiting for someone?" She surveys the room. "Oliver?"
Since when is she perceptive?
"Is there something—"
"Give a girl a second to make up a lie."
She laughs. "Sorry. It's none of my business." She pulls out her cell. Taps a few words into the screen. "I'm not a bartender, but I can make it happen."
"I can—"
"No. I've had people do everything for me for the past year. I'm fixing your drink." She picks up a bottle of gin, measures a shot, pours it into a plastic cup.
"Thanks." I guess pushiness runs in the family. "Is it hard?"
"Pregnancy?"
"More, the way people act. But yeah."
She nods. "I was sick for two months straight. Then constantly tired. Then… incredibly horny." She laughs as she uncaps a bottle of Vermouth. "And still tired." Her eyes flit to her baby daddy. It's like he has an Ariel sense. He's watching her. Curious. Concerned. Somewhere between. "He's so over-protective."
"You don't like it?"
"There is something sweet about it." She waves him off. Adds a shot of Vermouth. Then one of Campari. "But not twenty-four seven."
All these obscure liquors. Did Holden buy them for me? For Oliver? For the sake of… something only Holden would consider?
I guess it doesn't matter. Ariel is kind enough to fix my drink.
I'm wise enough to accept it. "Thank you."
"What's it like?"
"Bitter but sweet. Balanced."