Chapter One
I stumble out of the bathroom in Mom’s hospital room and nearly collide with Dr. Xipil.
“Are you okay?” the gnome doctor asks.
I’m far from okay, but if I tell him why, he might want to have me talk to a shrink. The injuries I suffered during the fight with Icelus are healed, but mentally and emotionally, I’m a wreck.
Case in point: I’m seriously considering the existence of Phobetor, the god of nightmares Icelus worship. Worse yet, I’m wondering if said deity made my mom kill my sister.
What little blood had returned to my face rushes away again.
I had a sister. A twin.
It’s as hard to wrap my mind around that fact as it is to fathom my mom killing her.
Her name was Asha, and I watched her die before I’d even accepted the fact that she’d existed.
What I wouldn’t give for a chance to have met her, or to at least remember her.
“Do you want to lie down?” Dr. Xipil asks, sounding more worried. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
I give him a forced smile. “I’m fine. Just disappointed I failed to rouse Mom.”
Dr. Xipil glances at the bed where Mom lies and sighs. “You’ll try again. You’re bound to succeed eventually.”
Not ready to discuss an evil deity that might be waiting for me in Mom’s dreams, I simply nod.
Mom looks serene in her comatose state. Calm, even. But that has to be a lie. Her dreams are of killing a daughter—because that’s what she’d done in the waking world.
In a very real way, I don’t know my own mother. Makes me wonder if you can know anyone, or trust them.
The doctor clears his throat. “You have loyal friends.”
Puck. I have to snap out of this, or the good doctor will insist I go back to my hospital bed.
I head for the door, and as casually as I can, ask, “What makes you say that?”
“They all recovered much faster than you did, but they wouldn’t leave your side until your husband chased them away.” He opens the door for me.
“My husband?” I’m too shocked to walk through.
Dr. Xipil gestures at my room across the hall. “Boyfriend?”
“Oh, you mean Valerian.” I step out into the hallway. “He’s neither my husband nor my boyfriend.”
Not yet—but fingers crossed.
The corners of Dr. Xipil’s eyes crinkle. “Are you sure he knows that? Because he definitely acted like a significant other while you were under. The nursing staff and I had to walk on eggshells.”
Really? Aww. “Sounds like I should check on him.”
“Good idea. If he wakes up and you’re not there, he’ll freak.”
“Oh, come on, that doesn’t sound like him.”
“You didn’t see what I saw,” the doctor says. “If you need anything else, let me know tomorrow afternoon. My shift is now officially over.”
I thank him, and he hurries away as I head over to my room.
Sticking my head in, I see Valerian slumped in a chair, his dark, thick hair disheveled around his beautifully symmetrical face. His intense ocean-blue eyes are closed, his kissable lips slightly parted.
Quietly, I tiptoe in. He’s in REM sleep, according to my newfound REM-sensing ability and the fact that his eyes are moving behind his eyelids.
Hmm. Maybe I don’t need to wake him. The fact that he’s dreaming is an opportunity. I could, for example, talk to him in his sleep… or snoop in those black windows he’s got.
Yep. I’m going for it.
Resisting the temptation to walk over and touch his chiseled face, I initiate the dreamwalk remotely. Might as well practice the new power.
Just as I did with Itzel’s grandfather, I imagine standing next to Valerian, close enough to breathe in his clean pine scent. I imagine touching his carved jaw and picture how that hint of stubble would feel under my fingers. I imagine how my heart would beat faster and heat would spread—
To my disappointment, I don’t need to imagine this further, because with the familiar whiff of ozone and the sensation of falling, I drop into his dream.
As soon as I appear in the surreally colored, manna-scented lobby of my dream palace, Pom shows up—and between the expression on the looft’s furry face and his deep black coloring, I can tell he knows a lot of what I’ve learned in Mom’s black window.