Someone has chosen a country station, and there’s gentle music lulling little Dale to sleep at my breast. I stroke over his soft, wispy hair, loving the content sounds he makes when he feeds. There’s a little bubble of milk at the corner of his mouth that fills me with fascination. He’s been growing so fast, fueled by my body. It’s such a strange thing to process. Nature is such a marvel.
“I can hear cars,” Sean calls from inside. It takes a good five minutes for Danna and her family to exit the vehicles, grab the baby girls, and all the bags of stuff that’s needed just to keep the babies clean, fed, and entertained. By that point, Dale is done feeding and is sitting on my lap with his little face cupped in my hand as I try to get him to burp. He holds onto burps so hard and then screams if I put him down with air in his little tummy.
“Oh my goodness!” Danna squeals. She is the first into the yard and had her hands out for Dale before I can blink. “He’s adorable and so tiny. I can’t believe how much the twins have grown compared to him. She kneels on the ground in front of me, beaming at Dale. “I’m your Auntie Danna, you cutie pie. I could just eat you up.”
Dale chooses that moment to let out a really loud burp, and Zack, Samuel, and York burst out laughing. Zack and Samuel are carrying Zoe and Zara, who seem to have doubled in size in the last three months. They both have dark hair tied up in a topknot with yellow ribbons and the cutest yellow dresses. Danna isn’t a lover of pink and I respect that.
The garden erupts with bro-hugs and man-shakes. Beers are handed out, and Gordon tosses the first of the meat onto the grill. Danna sits next to me on the porch, cradling Dale while he slips into a milk-induced sleep. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss them being this small. I mean, I couldn’t love them more, but there’s something about having them fit into your arms like this and smelling so sweet of milk and baby that is just so adorable.”
“I know. I’m so tired, but every time I hold him, I’m just overwhelmed. I can’t believe I made him inside me. I can’t believe that he’s come out so perfect.”
“And how are the boys getting on with being daddies?”
“I haven’t done a single night feed since I got back from the hospital. They have a damned schedule. I don’t think they could love him more if he were their own.”
“It’s amazing.” Danna looks around at all the men chatting in the yard and snorts with laughter. “Look at them… I mean, how the hell did we get so lucky?”
I snort too. “All I can think is that I must have been a saint in a previous life.”
“Or a martyr.”
“Exactly. But they have a sweet deal too,” I say, and for the first time, I truly believe in my heart what my eleven men have been trying to tell me for months. They all look so happy and content. There is so much friendship and love between them that only adds to the relationship we all have together. And they love me. They really love me. I can feel it in the way they treat me every day.
“The sweetest,” Danna says.
“But we are the luckiest. I mean, I know we’re great, and they’re lucky to have us but, this is a dream life.”
“It’s more than a dream life,” Danna says as York brings her a chilled glass of wine. She smiles up at him, and he leans in to kiss her. When he returns to the rest of his brothers, she turns to me with wide eyes and a cheeky smile. “He knows he’s next in on the baby-making schedule. We’re going in reverse order alphabetically! I can tell he’s eager to get started, and I don’t blame him. There’s something so hot about having sex without condoms.”
“Yeah, there is.” It suddenly dawns on me that if I don’t want to get pregnant, we’re going to have to start using contraception. Tonight is the first night I’m able to have sex since Dale arrived, and I’m both nervous and excited.
“Do you think you’ll have more?” Dale stirs in Danna’s arms as Gordon booms with laughter at something Samuel has said, and Danna instinctively jiggles him up and down soothingly.
“I’d love more, but not for a while. I want to finish school. The boys have insisted that I enroll here and complete my course.”
“That’s good. You should. You have the support.”
“Exactly. And then, who knows?”
“Have you spoken about how it could work? I’ve joined a polyamory group online, and some just leave it open to chance. Others, like us, try to structure it. I mean, I’m up for trying to give each of them a child, but some of it is out of my hands.”