I can’t help it. She just looks so forlorn in this moment that I have to touch her. I reach across the bar and take her hand, telling myself I’d do the same thing if it were Steph, so I’m keeping my promise to Cece. “Well then, let that at least bring you a little peace—that your girls are going through this so young, and hopefully they will make it through everything without feeling the same urgency to fill a void their dad leaves.”
She squeezes my hand back, and the connection shoots straight to my heart. “That’s what I’m worried about though. If he keeps up only seeing them the one night a week, what if he backs that off like my dad did, and then history will repeat itself? I think that’s why I didn’t try to fight him on it when he told me no about the trip this weekend with my parents. Because at least he still wants to see them that one night.”
I nod, seeing her predicament. “There’s gotta be a happy medium though. You shouldn’t be the one always getting the shaft, always living in fear that either he’s going to stop wanting to spend time with them at all or take them away from you. He can’t have it both ways. I just don’t understand what he’s thinking, threatening to take full custody of the girls, when right now he’s choosing only to take responsibility for them for one night a week.”
“It all gives me whiplash,” she tells me, tugging her hand out of mine and using it to swipe her hair out of her face. “I’m constantly on edge—like I said, walking on eggshells and trying not to rock the boat. I’m just… ready for something to happen, I guess. I’d rather get this show on the road instead of living in this constant state of anxiety, waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
I give her what I hope is a reassuring smile. “Whichever way it falls, naekkeo, I’m here. I’ll always be right here to help in any way I can. You aren’t alone. Not only do you have your sister, and now your parents, but you have me, even if it’s not to the extent I know for a fact we both want. I’m in your corner.”
She nods, giving me a watery smile. “Thanks, Win.” She swallows audibly, blinking away tears. And I have to summon all my self-control to let her grab her purse and walk out the door with only a wave goodbye.
22
Cece
Cheating-Ass Motherfucker: We need to talk.
The text comes across my screen, and while the message itself gives me instant anxiety, I can’t help but chuckle at what Mia must’ve changed his name to when I was letting her use my phone early this morning to look at my work schedule for the rest of the week.
Since I have it set to give a preview of my texts on my lock screen, I hurry and change it back in case the girls ever see it sitting around.
Me: About what?
Mike: About the girls. About the divorce. About everything you’re asking for.
My gut clenches, my fight or flight instinct immediately heading in the flight direction. This confrontation is something I’ve been dreading since he came into my work last week.
Mike: Mia said something to me the other day when I picked up the girls, and I’ve thought a lot about it. There has to be a happy medium with all this, Cecilia. One that doesn’t hurt the girls. They need to be our top priority, and fighting will only hurt them.
Note to self: find out exactly what the hell Mia said to him.
Me: I totally agree. So how about you start by not trying to take them from me? That was completely awful of you, Mike. What did I ever do to you to deserve you threatening to take my babies from me?
Mike: I know. You’ve done nothing. And after talking to my lawyer and my parents, after cooling off after the shock of seeing that $ total you asked for in the papers, I realized how fucked up it was. I’m sorry.
My head jerks back as I read the last text. In our entire marriage, I don’t think Mike ever apologized to me once. Not even when he told me he cheated on me. It makes me wonder what his lawyer told him. They must’ve made him realize it would be pointless to try to get full custody. I’m not totally convinced this conversation is genuinely because he’s turned a new leaf. I bet it has more to do with the amount of money he would have to spend fighting me for the girls.
Either way, I’m just glad there’s some communication going on at all.
I want to bring up the fact that he only sees the girls once a week, so how would he have dealt with having them full time in the first place? But I decide to shelve anything that might start an argument.