When I get inside, I find her on the couch, and I shake her gently. “Mia.” She blinks up at me. “I was just waking you up, because I didn’t think you’d want to spend the night down here,” I say quietly.
“I was waiting up for you.” She sits up and looks toward the TV. “What time is it?”
“A little after midnight.”
“Oh.” Her nose scrunches in confusion. “I thought you got off at eleven.”
“I did, but I ended up talking to Winston and kind of lost track of time.”
“It’s good you’re talking to someone.” Her frustration is evident in her tone.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I frown, wondering if she suspects what happened between Win and me.
“What happened tonight?” she asks, and my hands wring in front of me as I sit on the couch. “Cece, I love you. You know I love you. But honest to God, if you don’t start talking, sharing, and being honest about shit, I’m going to lose my mind.”
“I—”
“Do you realize that when I moved here, I left my whole life behind? I had an apartment, friends, a boyfriend, and a life in Montana. I gave that all up, because you needed me. I think I deserve to know what is going on.”
The guilt I always harbor rears up, and I wince. “You said Shep was a jerk and that you were glad he showed who he is and that you weren’t with him anymore,” I ramble, not knowing how to pacify her enough to avoid having to tell her the whole truth.
“He was a jerk, but that’s not the point,” she groans. “The point is that I deserve to know what the hell is going on.”
And that’s the final straw. I can’t hold on to another ounce of guilt. She does deserve to know what’s happened. I can’t keep trying to hide everything from her. I need her. Whether I want to admit it or not, I need her. I can’t do this on my own. Just like Mike said. “You’re right. I… I got the money together and asked Mike for a divorce,” I confess, not ready to tell her where it came from just yet.
“I know that,” she says, and my brows furrow.
How would she know that? No one knows that except for Winston, my lawyer, Mike, and now Asher, Bax, and—
“Mom told me,” she answers my unspoken question. “She also told me that you’re behind on bills and would probably be losing the house if I weren’t here. So I’ll ask you again, what is going on?”
My bottom lip starts to wobble at that. I was sort of prepared to tell her about the divorce and stuff, maybe even my feelings for Winston, but I didn’t want to tell her about the money situation. I don’t want her to feel obligated to give me anything else. She’s given me more than enough as it is.
“The money Mike gives me doesn’t cover everything, not even close.” I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands. “I was so set on not wanting to take anything from him and wanting to do this on my own that I maxed out my credit cards, which was stupid. I’ve been so stupid.” I lift my head to look at her. “I realize now that I can’t do this alone and provide for my girls.”
I clear my throat and give her more information. “Tonight, he came into the bar, because I had him served with divorce papers, and the lawyer put in how much I’m requesting he pay me each month, which is about four times what he’s been giving me.” Tears fill my eyes. “He didn’t have a problem with giving me the divorce; he had a problem with the money and wanted to let me know that he’s going to fight me for custody rather than pay and that he wants us to sell the house.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as Mia’s expression softens from its previously frustrated state. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to file?” She grabs my hand. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were getting behind on bills? I would have helped.”
I try to keep my voice down as I cry, “I’ve felt like a failure, Mia. The only thing I have to show for the last ten years of my life is three beautiful girls. I don’t have a college degree. I’m working for the first time since I was in high school, and soon, I will be divorced. I know you would’ve helped if I asked, but that’s…. You’ve already done so much.” I wipe my cheeks. “I never thought it would be like this. I thought he was going to come home,” I sob, even though that’s the last thing I wanted to happen.