She heard him slam against it from the other side and roar an order for it to open up. The door did not open, in large part because she did not open it.
HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU! The crown declared. YOU WILL DIE!
“Get back, Konan,” she called out. “This ship is going to take off, and you’re not going to want to be caught in the blast-off cloud…”
She ran to the bridge, which was usually occupied by at least a dozen aliens with navigational, mechanical, and general space capabilities. Elizabeth had none of those things. But she did have random chance on her side, or maybe not. Who knew. She’d find out soon enough.
There was a button in the middle of the navigator’s console. She knew it was the navigator’s console because that’s the one Konan had barked navigation type orders at. There was a button on it which seemed particularly enticing, so she pushed it, hoping that it was the button that made it go zoom into the sky. As fate would have it, it was. There was a very loud noise and then the planet was nothing more than a pin prick in the distance.
She knew where she was going. Back to Dominax’s Homeworld. That whole place was lava. The crown didn’t have a hope in hell of making it back to anybody’s head ever again.
She didn’t know how to fly the shop. She didn’t know how to find her way back to King Dominax’s Homeworld. But the ship did. The ship had welcomed her in the beginning, and it welcomed her again now. It swept her through space in what she hoped was in the right direction.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DESTROY ME.
The crown was loud, and as she had come to expect, rude. She ignored it. Until she didn’t.
“It doesn’t actually have to be Dominax’s Homeworld. It could be literally any star. You’d burn up just the same in any solar body. Or I could find a black hole and see what happens to you in a space anomaly.”
I WILL GROW STRONGER THAN YOU'VE EVER IMAGINED.
She wasn’t worried about the psychotic inanimate object. She was worried about Konan, and how much of him was left after it. And how much she should absolutely not have put that on his head against his will.
“So, in a way, this is all my fault,” she murmured to herself.
I WILL CRUSH YOU
The journey continued more or less in that vein for more or less a day. The threats turned into background noise, just a very loud series of dire threats and personal insults that would have been quite hurtful if she had taken them seriously.
There was another ship on the radar, behind them. She assumed it was Konan. He might have tried to make contact, but the ship seemed to be blocking communications.
“Ship, you’re pretty cool,” she told it. “I hope you’re actually cool with me, and I’m not just a pawn in your greater plan which might be to save Konan and his entire people, or maybe something else. Something kind of dark.”
THE SHIP IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. NOBODY IS YOUR FRIEND. NOBODY LIKES YOU.
“I thought you were more a genocidal kind of crown, not a petty bitch.”
ONE DOESN’T PRECLUDE THE OTHER.
“You know you’re responsible for the deaths of thousands, probably millions.”
NO. I AM NOT.
“Of course you are. The king puts you on, murders half his people…”
THAT IS HIS PROBLEM.
“You’re an evil crown and you must die.”
NOW YOU SOUND EVIL
“I do sound evil,” she agreed. “That’s your influence. Usually I sound really nice. And usually I am really nice. But you make people evil.”
I DON’T. I MAKE PEOPLE ROYAL. IF THEY DECIDE TO MURDER THOUSANDS THAT IS UP TO THEM.
“Is it? I don’t think it is. Seems to me that as soon as you get put on, people get very murdery.”
PUT ME ON AND FIND OUT
“No, thank you.”
PUT ME ON AND BECOME QUEEN. RULE AN ALIEN LAND AND AN ALIEN PEOPLE. BEND THE BEAST WHO TOOK YOU CAPTIVE TO YOUR WILL. TURN HIM INTO YOUR PRISONER. TORTURE HIM FOR ALL HE PUT YOU THROUGH.
The crown was trying to seduce her, but it didn’t have her angle at all. She wasn’t interested in revenge on Konan. She was interested in finding her happily ever after — and you didn’t get that by getting revenge. You got that by vanquishing evil.
HE DOESN’T REALLY LIKE YOU.
“Are you an evil crown, or an inner saboteur?”
There was a sound like a tin opener being applied to the hull of the ship. It was loud, and strange enough to frighten her into trying to see what was going on. The view out of a port hole revealed that Konan was actually on the ship, clinging to the outer part of it like some kind of space maniac.