“I will crush you,” Konan snarled. “I will gore you and I will turn your entrails into…”
“WE ARE SO PLEASED TO SEE YOU, KONAN OF THE MASIH, MIGHTY BEAST KING! ARE YOU NOT PLEASED WITH OUR TRADITIONAL GREETING?”
“Attacking my ship is not a traditional greeting.”
“IT IS NOT? OUR RECORDS INDICATE THAT VICIOUS, UNPROVOKED ATTACKS ARE HIGHLY PRIZED IN YOUR CULTURE.”
“What do you want?” Konan growled.
“WE ARE EXCITED TO REVEAL A NEW LINE OF PRODUCTS AIMED AT THE UNIVERSE’S MOST VIOLENT DESPOTS AND KINGS!”
Konan waved the screen away. “Destroy them,” he ordered.
Another missile emerged from the belly of his ship and rocketed toward the great yellow globe of a ship marked with a G. A split second before impact, the Galactor ship blinked out of existence, and the missile continued on its way helplessly.
Konan let out a roar of annoyance. For a second time today he had been deprived of the satisfaction of a direct hit. His gunner had a great deal to answer for, but not right now.
A big yellow message appeared in the air, with a viciously aggressive voice.
HOW LIKELY ARE YOU TO RECOMMEND US TO A FRIEND?
“That’s it. We are hunting those little bastards to the ends of their universe,” he declared. “We are going to destroy them. We are going to…”
Wait. Something was wrong. The human was missing. She must have slipped off his lap in the attack, perhaps out of fear, perhaps because she had sensed an opportunity to create havoc on his ship.
HOW LIKELY ARE YOU TO RECOMMEND US TO A FRIEND? ANSWERING OUR SURVEY ENTITLES YOU TO A 20 GALACTOR CREDIT CARD TO BE REDEEMED AT YOUR NEAREST ULTRAMEGAMART.
“Block that blasted transmission!” Konan leaped from his throne and went to look for the human. The last thing he needed now was a spy loose on his ship.
He took a moment to return his cock to his pants before leaving the bridge. Standards had to be maintained in some sense, and attempting to chase a human spy with his cock out could lead to unforeseen and unpleasant consequences.
Chapter 5
“Who are you?”
The question was a good one, coming as it did from a very tall, lean alien with piercing yellow eyes and his long dark hair tied back and plaited into a thick braid which should have made him look feminine, but like all things exceptionally masculine people do, served to somehow heighten his masculinity by contrast.
She’d run into him as she ran through various doors in the ship, hoping for something like escape even though she knew escape was impossible. When the Galactor ship had attacked, she’d found herself clinging to her tormentor, her hands wrapped around his massive appendage. She’d known then that there was no way it could ever fit inside her. So she’d run in the hopes of hiding from that inhumanly large dick.
Now she had to explain herself to one of Konan’s officers. This was going to take some talent and some lies.
“I, uh. My name is Elizabeth. I’m…”
“You’re here for the inspection? You from the intergalactic engineer exchange? Come to vet us for inclusion in the apex register?”
“Yes.”
Why had she said yes? Because no would have led to even less convenient questions.
The alien looked her over with no small amount of suspicion. “I thought Konan said you were from King Dominax’s realm, but you have no scaling, or fur.”
“Is it common to comment on the physical appearance of the inspector? Does that lead to higher ratings and more approvals? Does it mean you won’t be subject to restrictions, confined to port if I decide that this bucket of bolts isn’t space worthy?”
She desperately hoped that what she was saying made some kind of sense in context. This was beyond grasping at straws. This was clutching at leaves which were falling from the roof of the engine bay and settling on the floor in a way that had to be a fire hazard.
Her plan worked. She offended the engineering officer too much for him to even bother to check her credentials any further.
“I think you’ll find this ship much more than space worthy. This baby chews space. We can be across three galaxies in the blink of an eye if we want to be.”
The engineer was proud, though Elizabeth wasn’t entirely sure he should be. She had seen rundown ships before, but she’d never seen one that was overgrown. Besides the foliage, there was a great deal of machinery inside the room, whirring. and jigging away in a very mechanistic display.
The alien led her into the middle of it all, where a great glowing light waxed and waned inside a glassy chamber, much like the light inside a lighthouse, but all the brightness was internalized rather than flung in all directions. It was very bright, and yet she could look at it. Sort of the same way the sun could be represented very brightly on a screen and yet not burn the viewer’s retinas right out of their heads.