There was nothing I loved more than watching the sunrises with Aaliyah, other than watching the sunset with her in my arms.
I felt like I owed Grant the world for not taking Aaliyah away from me too soon, and I’d spend the rest of my life thanking him for that very fact.
I held Captain America’s book in my hand as I read out loud, as Aaliyah sat completely wrapped up in the story. “It was in that very moment that Captain knew he’d discovered forever when Little Red Riding Hood showed up in his world,” I said, making Aaliyah laughed.
“What?”
I kept reading. “Because Captain realized that the secret to life wasn’t having powers. The secret to life was having love. Love was the greatest superpower any person could’ve ever had. So, with that, Captain got down on one knee.” I closed the comic and smiled as I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a ring.
“Connor,” Aaliyah whispered, stunned as she stared at the diamond.
“You are everything good in the world, Aaliyah Winters. You are heaven on Earth, and my very best friend. So, if you would do me the favor of becoming my wife, I’d really appreciate that a lot. Because it turns out I need more than flashes of love. I need your full time love, because you make me whole. Your love is my destiny. Will you marry me, Red?”
Her lips pressed against mine within seconds but not before she whispered, “Yes.”
With one single word, my life became that much brighter.
With one word, I was complete.
48
Aaliyah
It was December when I found the courage to call Marie.
The snowflakes fell softly overhead and melted seconds after they hit the streets of the Upper East Side. The past few months had been a blur of me being in recovery, and falling deeper in love with Connor. Falling more in love with myself. If I’d learned anything over the past year, it was that loving oneself was truly the best act of rebellion anyone could partake in.
I wasn’t perfect. I still had flaws. Sometimes I judged others, sometimes I judged myself. I nitpicked at my scars and at times hated the number sitting against the scale. Yet, the greatest discovery of self-love was realizing you didn’t have to be perfect in order to be worthy of love, of respect, of the ability to grow each and every day.
The truest form of authentic love began when one could look in the mirror, see the flaws, and still accept self as a full being who deserved the highest level of happiness.
I knew it was important to work on me, before I could face my past. I had to create boundaries strong enough to keep me from allowing others to hurt me.
We planned to meet at our favorite coffee shop.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” Connor asked as we sat in the back of his car.
I gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah. This is something I have to do on my own. But, can you wait for me? I’m not sure how this conversation is going to go, or if I’ll be in and out. But...”
“I’ll be right here. I’ll wait for however long it takes.”
My lips landed against his, and his kiss gave me an extra dash of courage. That was what Connor’s love did for me. It made me stronger every single day.
I climbed out of the car, allowing the snow to sweep against my cheeks as I tightened the belt on my wool coat. Marie was sitting inside the coffee shop already, staring down at her hands which were wrapped around a cup of coffee.
As I pushed the shop’s door open, a bell dinged overhead, noting my arrival. Marie instantly looked toward me, her eyes filled with pain.
Those eyes.
How didn’t I notice before how much they looked like mine?
Her eyes, and nose, and the slight dimple in her chin.
A wave of nausea hit me, but I didn’t run away. I allowed myself to feel the discomfort, because no feelings were unwarranted.
“Hi,” she breathed out, going to stand.
“No, it’s fine. Keep sitting,” I said, sliding into the chair across from her.
She eased back down, and returned her hands to her coffee cup. “I was going to order you a drink, but then again, I wasn’t certain you were going to show.”
“It’s fine. I don’t need anything.”
“I was surprised when you messaged me about meeting.”
“Yeah. Sorry it took so long. I needed time.”
“I get it, Aaliyah, I do. I’m just happy that you called. I know you probably think the worst things about me. And I know my reasoning doesn’t seem to make sense but—”
“Are you still with him? With Walter?”
Her eyes flashed with guilt. That was her answer, no words were needed.
“Now, I know it probably seems pathetic…” she started to explain.