“Okay, I love you. I’ll call once we make it to the airport.”
We said yet another goodbye because saying goodbye to each other was always an extremely long process. As my sister closed the front door, I took a deep breath and allowed the tears to fall down my cheeks.
Leaning my back against the wooden door, I closed my eyes and felt the rush of loneliness slamming into my chest. It turned out, it didn’t matter how big or small one’s home was, it didn’t matter how warm or cold the house had been, and it didn’t matter how many things were packed inside the walls—when loneliness showed up, it still felt extremely sad.
Just then, my cell phone dinged.
Yoana: I forgot to tell you! I left you a present. I placed it out onto the driveway for a little comfort.
I swallowed hard and pulled myself together as I headed out to find the surprise. The moment I stepped outside, more tears welled up in my eyes.
There it was, parked right in front of me, a gift from the past that was meant to bring me a slice of comfort: Mama and Daddy’s convertible. That beat-up vehicle represented my two favorite people, people I’d lost. It was a dull yellow color with drawings all over it. Mama and Daddy would have us draw our favorite moments on the car throughout our childhood, creating lasting memories we were able to look back on throughout the years.
As I walked around the car, I took in every memory inscribed upon it. Birthday celebrations. Art shows. Family vacations. I couldn’t help but feel a smile curve my lips. It was an instant reminder of who I truly was, down to my core.
I remembered driving down the freeway with my family, listening to Lauryn Hill as our hair blew in the wind with no fears and loads of happiness. Yoana sat beside me in the car, and her laughter was infectious. She would fall into a giggling fit as she and I blew bubbles in the back seat of the car. You couldn’t be unhappy with those three people in your life and that kind of joy.
I hopped into the driver’s seat and inhaled deeply as a particular scent washed over me.
Mama.
I glanced over at the passenger seat, where a basket was filled with goodies and a letter. Mama’s favorite perfume was there, and I knew that was what I was smelling. Yoana must’ve sprayed the car seats with the fragrance.
Lilacs and honey.
Along with the perfume was a bottle of whiskey and a jar of coffee beans.
I opened the letter and read the words.
Kennedy,
I hate that I had to leave you so quickly after we reconnected, but I figured you could use a piece of your family while you rediscover yourself. Therefore, I’ve left you with a jar of Mama’s favorite coffee beans for the mornings and a bottle of Daddy’s favorite whiskey for your nights.
Love you, sis. Call me if you need me. I’m just one flight away.
And try not to overthink everything. You’re right on track, even on the days when it doesn’t feel that way.
-Yoana
As I stared up toward the stars painting Havenbarrow’s atmosphere, I opened up the bottle of whiskey and spent the rest of the night making wishes on the stars for better tomorrows. I asked Mama and Daddy to send me a sign that no matter what, everything would be okay. I asked for guidance, for prayer, and for miracles.
I could’ve really used a miracle in my life.
When morning came, I had a strong feeling I’d be able to finally feel the sun after so many days of darkness.
3
Kennedy
“Watch your step, Louise. Don’t crush those bushes,” a voice whispered as I yawned in the back seat of the convertible I’d slept in the night before. I was pulled away from my rest when I heard rustling in the yard.
My heart leaped in my chest as I pushed myself up to a sitting position.
“Oh hush, Kate. Me stepping on these bushes would be doing them a favor—trust me,” the other woman whispered-shouted back. They were tiptoeing around the property, sneaking peeks into the windows as they both held plastic containers in their hands.
“Do you think it’s a big family?” Louise asked. “Lord knows the last thing we need is more kids running around the neighborhood.”
“I don’t know but based on the lack of furniture in the house, they might be struggling.”
I cocked an eyebrow at the snooping ladies, who hadn’t noticed me sitting feet away from them.
“I hope they hire someone to take care of this pigpen of a yard. I don’t need the property value going down because of the newcomer. The last family who stayed here already did enough damage,” Louise huffed in disgust.
“Can I help you, ladies?” I cut in, watching the nosy women jump right out of their Louboutin heels at the sound of my voice. They caught their balance and luckily kept the containers in their grips as they rotated to see me sitting in my car.