“They knew, intellectually. But I think this is about something else.”
I had to look away from her. I felt a stab of anger rush through me and I knew I’d say something stupid, something I’d regret if I didn’t get control of myself, and very quickly.
“It sounds to me like you’re taking his side,” I said softly. “I don’t want to be a child about this. I understand this isn’t about being on my team or something so simplistic. But from my perspective, I did everything right, I’m a damn good doctor, and somehow I’m being punished for that.”
“You’re not wrong,” she said, chewing her lip. “But it’s still a problem, whether you want to accept it or not.”
“What do you want me to do? Go back in time?”
“I want you to take this seriously.”
“I am taking it seriously,” I said, leaning toward her. “I went to Gina. I went to Caroline. I asked both of them to help, to do something about that goddamn PI following me all over the city, and neither of them will budge. The Tippett family has too much money and too many fingers all over their budgets. They don’t care how good I am or how many patients I draw from all across the country. So long as their bottom line is in trouble, they’ll throw me to the wolves without a second thought.”
She watched me, and I had to lean back and take another few calming breaths. I was angry, so goddamn angry.
This wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t sacrifice so much of my life, devote myself to helping people, learn my craft and excel at it, only to become a target of frivolous lawsuits because I wasn’t perfect, or because some old man didn’t finish his will before undergoing an extremely risky surgery. I couldn’t help it if I was confident, and if I was willing to try difficult things.
I understood why all those other doctors wouldn’t touch Nil Tippett’s case. Maybe I should’ve seen it back then, and maybe I did—but I don’t want to live in a world where doctors don’t try to save a life because they’re afraid of getting sued.
It wasn’t fair. The system was broken, and there was no good fix. Patients needed to be able to sue doctors, especially when doctors fucked up, were lazy, incompetent, stupid, or any number of shitty things, and someone got hurt. Patients needed a way to make things right.
But this wasn’t that way. I didn’t deserve it.
And now it made me not want to take on another Nil Tippett if one ever appeared again. It made me want to let a man die, all because I didn’t want to go through this again.
It was wrong, and it broke my goddamn heart.
“He threatened me,” Lori said, and I looked up sharply.
“He did what?”
“Well, first he tried to bribe me, and then he implied that he thinks you and I have an inappropriate relationship.”
I barked a laugh. In some ways, he was right about that. “What did you do? You take the money?”
“No,” she said, eyes flashing anger. “Of course I didn’t, you asshole.”
“I guess you wouldn’t tell me, even if you did.”
“God, you’re such a dick. Now I sort of wish I had.”
“They’re going to keep trying, you know. So long as you stay around me, they’ll keep making you a target.”
“I know that.”
“Then why stay? Why not find someone else?”
She clutched her coffee cup hard enough to buckle the sides. I wondered if the top might pop off.
“I don’t have that option,” she said. “You know your boss wants you to have a resident.”
“You could get reassigned if you asked. They might give me someone else, or they might not, but you’d be out of the picture at least.”
“I never said— I don’t want to—” She stopped herself and took a deep breath. “You’re so frustrating, you know that? I thought things were going well.”
“They were,” I said softly. “But then Robert Tippett tried to threaten you and bribe you, and now I’m starting to wonder if any of this is worth it.”
“You’re such a dick.” She took a step toward me. “I defended you to him. I told him I wasn’t going to testify against you.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Maybe I was wrong. I bet taking that bribe would change my life.”
“I bet it would.”
“And so what if you lose some lawsuit? You’d survive it.” She turned away and I could see the anger rolling down her spine. It was a visible tension, spreading through all her muscles.
I wanted to apologize, but I was too stubborn—and besides, I hadn’t done a damn thing wrong.
She reached for the doorknob, and I stood without thinking.
I didn’t know why I reacted that way. I had the sudden thought that letting her leave would be a mistake. If she disappeared from my life, then I was doomed.