“Caleb,” Shay whispered against his lips, her fingers pressing into his chest, as if she wanted to push him away but instead absorbed him. His lips brushed hers again, and she breathed, “Wait.”
But he didn’t wait, because he felt her tension, could almost hear her thinking, finding reasons—as they both had a million times before—to pull back. To leave this “thing” between them—whatever it was—untouched.
Caleb deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up her back and molding the lush curves of her breasts against his chest. Holding her, touching her, his body pulsed with need, his cock thick with demand. He wanted inside her, wanted it as much as he wanted his next breath. But not as much as he wanted to take his time, as he wanted to enjoy every last second of this first time with Shay. And he wanted her to enjoy it, wanted to make her forget to worry.
His tongue glided deeply into her mouth, stroked and prodded with the reminder of how good they felt together, with the promise that he could wash away more than her objections, but also her fears. He was rewarded with another of her soft moans—damn, he really loved those moans. He wanted her more than he remembered ever wanting anyone in his life. Hell, he felt like he’d wanted her his entire life.
His hand stroked the silky strands of her floral-scented hair. “Let’s go inside,” he murmured, already opening the door and gently dragging her across the seat with him.
But she didn’t go willingly. “No, wait,” Shay objected again, latching a hand onto the steering wheel to halt her progress. “We can’t go back once we do this.”
“Good,” he said firmly. “I don’t want to go backward.”
“But we—”
He framed her face with his hands, cutting her words off with actions, pinning her in a stare and a firm but gentle demand. “Do you want me?”
“That’s not the—”
“Do you want me?” he repeated softly.
“You know I do,” she whispered.
“And I want you. Very much, Shay.”
A tormented expression touched her face. “Until tomorrow morning.”
“Again tomorrow morning,” he promised. “You can say what you will about temptation and forbidden fruit, but it’s been ten years, and we’re still here, better and hotter than ever. That means something, Shay.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, emotion welling in his chest. “And ten years ago, I walked away because I had to. It wasn’t our time. We were too young. We would have crashed and burned. But it’s our time now, Shay. Here. Tonight.”
One second. Two. Her chin lifted in a familiar, defiant motion. “That’s not what you said this afternoon.”
“I was doing what we’ve both been programmed to do. Run from our attraction. The same way I’m programmed to hear gunfire without flinching. We’re both programmed to see each other and go into avoidance mode.” His hands settled on her legs, his voice deepened into a confession. “The minute I saw you today, I knew I’d stayed away because it was the only way I’d resist you. Then you came in, offering me a kiss. I was trying everything I could to maintain control.” He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “We both need resolution. We both need to know why we can’t let this go.
“There were times over the past ten years when I was in places as close to hell as it gets. Hurt. Running for my life. Certain I wouldn’t make it. I needed something to cling to that was good. Something that gave me hope. Today, when I was watching you by the pool, helping your mother unwrap gifts, you were smiling and laughing, and I remembered what that good thing was. It was you, Shay. I’d picture your smile…your laugh.” His lips lifted slightly, his hand slid to her cheek. “Your dagger-throwing, angry stare when you wanted to kill me. All that means something, and I want to know what.”
Her hand went to his wrist, her voice crackling with emotion. “Me? You thought of me?”
“More times than you can possibly imagine,” he said. Now that he’d unraveled this web, he wasn’t going to tangle it with unspoken words. He’d spent ten years holding back. No more.
She touched his face, fingers trailing over his jaw. “Let’s go inside.”
***
SHAY TRIED TO OPEN her door, but her normally steady hand shook with the effort. Caleb said something behind her, but she couldn’t focus for the thunder of her heart in her chest, radiating into her ears. Couldn’t think for the musky, male scent so uniquely Caleb, lifting in the humid night air and thickening. To say that she was terrified she might be making the wrong choice by acting on her desire for Caleb was an understatement. She was scared to say yes to tonight with Caleb, and scared to say no.