Emma gulped. “That Jenni sent me?”
With a sad smile, Katie nodded. “She’s good at saving people. She saved me, you know, on that first day. My wife was dead, I was in shock and lost in a neighborhood I didn’t know, and then I saw her standing outside of her front door in a pink bathrobe. My instantaneous instinct was to save her, so I pulled over. At first I thought I saved her, but looking back, I know she saved me too. She gave me a purpose that day. Otherwise, I’m not sure what would have happened to me. But now I’m here helping to rebuild the world.”
“And a mom to the next generation.” She’d caught Katie’s reference to a wife, but wasn’t about to ask about something so personal.
“Which I thought I’d never be.” Katie laughed with delight. “I blame Jenni.”
“It’s good though, right?” Emma attempted not to sound annoyed, but her own loss pinched at her insides.
Katie’s bittersweet smile and gentle expression said much about her as a person. “It’s very good. It’s a blessing that I am grateful for especially knowing how much has been lost. I am sad for your loss, but I am glad you came here for a new start.”
Emma sensed her sincerity. It was evident Katie had realized she’d bumped a wound and was trying to soothe the smarting. Everyone was walking around with trauma triggers that could go off at the most innocuous comment. It wasn’t Katie’s fault that she was a new mother with a living child while Emma and Macy were mourning theirs.
“It’s intense starting over after being alone for a year,” Emma said, gazing at the hotel. “There are so many people...”
“It wasn’t just you getting claustrophobic earlier. I got overwhelmed in the lobby too. Everyone wanted to see Bryce, so Travis took over showing her off so I could come here to see Jenni.”
“I’m sorry. I should have left when you got here.”
“No, no. I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to meet you. I like getting to know all the new people who arrive. I completely understand how it feels to arrive here and finally be safe enough to mourn and heal from all the shit we went through.” Katie glanced toward City Hall where Travis now stood on the doorstep with Yolanda. She was holding the baby, cooing with delight over the newborn. “I expected to fight to survive, but I didn’t expect to fall in love and create a new family. That was a surprise.”
Emma mulled over Katie’s comment, remembering Rune’s words. She had time to discover what the Fort could offer her. Whether that included finding love again was another matter, but she had time to find her way.
“Is it worth it? To start over? To love again? Even with the risks?” she asked.
With a wistful smile, Katie said simply, “Yes. As terrifying as this world is, it is worth it.”
27
The Risks
When Katie left after a few more minutes of small talk, Emma’s panic at
tack had diminished to the point where she was starting to feel like herself again. The shakiness in her hands and her rapidly beating heart had returned to normal during her conversation with Katie. Feeling calmer, Emma watched Katie and her husband retreat back into the hotel with Yolanda in their wake.
It was dinner time, but despite her hunger, she couldn’t quite bring herself to go inside the hotel. She watched the sunset while the breeze ruffled her hair and dried the remains of her tears.
The sun was just vanishing behind the horizon when Juan appeared carrying a covered tray and holding a bottle of water under his arm. She expected him to keep walking past the memorial, but he joined her.
“Hey,” he said, sounding awkward.
“Hi.”
Holding out the food and bottled water, he gave her a sheepish look. “You didn’t make it to dinner, so I brought you a tray. It’s a hamburger and fries.”
Emma arched her eyebrows while taking the tray. “A real hamburger?”
“We watch over a herd of cattle on a nearby ranch, so yes, it’s a real hamburger.”
Pulling the foil off, Emma squealed with delight. “Oh my God! Thank you so much for bringing me this. It looks and smells amazing!”
Sitting beside her, Juan squared his shoulders beneath his clean white shirt. He had scrubbed up for dinner and smelled of soap and shampoo. “Katie said she saw you out here, so I thought I’d see if you were still here after you didn’t show up in the dining hall.”
“Well, I do appreciate it.”
“I had some time on my hands, so it’s no big deal.”
Juan’s tone implied that it was a bigger deal than he was admitting. He’d come here with a purpose and that made her a little uneasy. Emma set the water bottle between them, a small barrier.