“We should really finish checking—”
“I have to go,” I cried out, struggling to get from Kyle’s grasp and off the gurney.
“Babe, what are you doing?” Kyle asked frantically as he helped me down. “You’re safe; no one’s going to touch you again. I’m going to get you—”
“Lucas,” I yelled over Kyle’s assurances, and avoided his eyes when he suddenly stilled.
“Babe . . .”
“Lu—Trent!” I yelled again as I turned in slow circles, looking for my devil, but my voice barely held any power behind it. My body went numb when I didn’t see him, and overwhelming panic clawed at me.
“Briar, he was working undercover for the FBI,” Kyle said gently and slid an arm around my waist to pull me closer. “But I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you thinking he was one of the people in this trafficking ring. We’ll find someone you can talk to.”
I pushed feebly against his chest, unable to move against his hold. “I don’t need someone to talk to, I need—” I broke off when I saw him in the distance talking with a group of men, his head hanging low and his hand gripping the back of his neck. “Devil,” I whispered, and somehow, impossibly, my devil’s head snapped up, and he looked over at me.
I took a step in his direction at the same second he took one in mine, but Kyle stopped me. “I’m gonna get you help, Briar Rose, I swear to God.” He looked as horrified as he sounded. He swallowed roughly a couple times before he managed to say, “It’s . . . it’s normal to feel something for a person that held you captive—especially that long. But even though he was undercover, that’s all he was to you. Your captor.”
“No, he wasn’t, you don’t understand.”
“Briar, he—”
“I love him, Kyle,” I shouted, but my voice was still just above a whisper.
His blue eyes widened with shock. “What the hell?” he asked softly, and his hold tightened.
Hard sobs wracked my chest, and I stopped trying to get away from him. Lifting a shaking hand up, I cradled his face and spoke through my tears. “I love you. I tried to get back to you in the beginning.”
“What the fuck are you saying? What the fuck did he do to you?”
“I know who he is, Kyle. I know he’s undercover. I’ve known for months. But even before that, I . . .” A sob caught in my throat. “I stopped trying to get away. He gave me opportunities to go, even bought me a ticket home, and I didn’t take them. It wasn’t because of any syndrome or anything else you might think—it was just him. I fell in love with him.”
Kyle looked as if I’d just torn him open to let him bleed out, but the denial was there in his eyes. “No. No, Briar, no. That’s Stockholm—”
“It’s not. Not with him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I pushed against his hold, and his arms loosened but didn’t fall.
I turned toward my devil. He was waiting about halfway from where I’d last seen him, but he only took a step before Kyle tightened his arms around me and pulled me back.
Kyle’s blue eyes looked like he was in so much pain, and his jaw clenched as he pled, “Briar, don’t do this.”
“I can sing with him,” I said softly, and watched the impact of my words on the man I had once seen a future with.
None of what I had said had hurt him as much as that confession.
“I hate that I’m hurting you. I hate that you’ve hurt this whole time,” I said through the tightening of my throat. “Please forgive me, Kyle. I never wanted you to find out this way.”
“Babe, I—Jesus Christ.” Fresh tears filled his eyes as he pled again, “Briar, don’t do this. You’re confused, you’ve gone through something . . . fuck, something so traumatic, and you’re not thinking clearly.”
After what we’d just gone th
rough, the need to get to where my heart was waiting for me was overwhelming and made it nearly impossible to focus on what was right in front of me. But I owed Kyle so many apologies and explanations that would take time . . . hours and days and weeks.
And right then, I owed him that moment.
I curled my hands around his head and pressed my forehead to his. “Know that I love you . . .”
“Briar, don’t—”
“. . . and I’ll love you forever.”