“That’s not fair, since you brought it up,” he muttered.
“I wanted to give you a heads-up, but I’m not jumping in the middle,” she said firmly. “Now, back to you. Any more nightmares lately?”
When Mac made up her mind, there was no changing it. So he gave in and told her about the most recent nightmare, of bein
g forced to torture the two eagle shifters. How he didn’t have a choice, or Bowman’s lackey would’ve chopped the female into pieces. Hell, he might have anyway, later on. Micah had no idea what had become of her, or any of them except Aric, who’d been rescued with him.
“The last time we spoke, you were convinced these dreams are actually repressed memories. Do you still feel that way?”
He nodded. “More than ever. I haven’t had any new memories while I’m awake, only when sleeping, but I feel like they’re right there, you know? As if the door’s already open a crack and soon they’re going to all come back.”
“If you’re feeling so strongly, it’s probably just a matter of time before they do come back. The question is, how are you going to be able to handle all of those memories swamping you if they all return at the same time?” She studied him closely.
He knew that look and could already guess what she was thinking. Micah was a ticking bomb, especially given his bad reaction to his antidepressant. The physical symptoms, and now the attack on Noah. On top of all that, he might remember the entirety of his months in captivity at any moment.
She was reconsidering the wisdom of hospitalizing him and not waiting for that bomb inside his head to go off, detonating not only himself but everyone in his kill zone.
“Doc,” he said, hating the pleading in his voice, “give me a chance to beat this on my own. You said yourself I’ve made good progress. I know it’s all coming to a head, but I can’t be locked up. My mate is out there, and she’s going to need me.”
His wolf whined just thinking about staring at four padded walls and being separated from his mate while he went completely insane. Got sick and died.
“We can bring her here to you, when the need for you two to mate becomes an issue.” But even she wasn’t happy with that plan any more than he was. It was obvious from her quiet voice and somber expression.
“And lock her up, too? No. I won’t have my mate become a prisoner when none of this is her fault. She deserves better. Please, Mac, I’m asking you not just as my doctor, but as my friend. Let me try to handle this first.”
She sighed. “You would have to pull the friend card.”
“I just want a chance. If I can’t deal, I’ll check myself in.”
“That’s just it—you might not be able to if it comes to that.” She fell silent, thinking.
Micah waited, deciding not to push further and risk having the doc dig her heels in. He did his best to appear compliant and harmless, accepting of whatever fate she doled out rather than quietly losing his mind.
Finally she gave a small laugh. “Relax. I’m still going to let you try to wean off the pills on your own, and we’ll continue counseling.”
“Thanks,” he said with gratitude.
“But one more incident like your attack on Noah and you’ll find yourself a guest here for a while.”
“Got it. I’ll do my best not to let anyone down.”
“It’s not about letting us down,” she said gently. “It’s about getting you well. Concentrate on that and the rest will fall into place.”
“I will. Thanks.”
They talked for a few more minutes. Then Micah stood and bid her good-bye. Noah was waiting to take him to an exam room, where he drew the blood samples and checked Micah’s vitals.
“That’s it. You’re ready to go,” Noah said, gathering the vials of blood. Before Micah could open his mouth, the nurse held up a hand. “And don’t apologize again. Let’s forget it and move on.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Smiling, he clapped Noah on the shoulder and took his leave. Belatedly, he wondered if that would count as “touching” the nurse in Nix’s eyes. He sure hoped not.
Making his way back to the main building, he pulled out his cell phone and gave in to temptation.
Hey, it’s Micah. You busy? he texted.
A few seconds later, Jacee’s reply came through. Nope. Just came in from the garden. About to shower.
You have a garden? What kind?