She knew exactly what he was doing and exactly what he was thinking. He knew how much she loved her job, his island and its people. Helios was working tactically. He thought that if he threw enough incentives at her she would be so overcome with gratitude she would allow him back into her bed.
She’d entered their relationship without any illusions of permanency. It had suited her as much as it had suited him. Desire was what had glued them together, and it scared her to know that despite all the protective barriers she’d placed around herself he’d still slipped inside. Not fully, but enough for pain to lance her whenever she thought of him and the Princess together. When she thought of her own future without him in her life.
How could she continue to be his lover feeling as she did now, even putting aside the fact of his imminent engagement?
His engagement had hammered home as nothing else could that she was good enough to share his bed but not good enough for anything more.
She knew she was being unfair—Agon’s constitution and Helios’s position in life were not his fault or within his control—but for the first time she felt the reality on an emotional level and that terrified her.
In her heart of hearts she’d always longed to meet someone she could trust with the truth about her conception and not fear they would turn away in disgust or believe that the fruit never fell far from the tree. To meet someone who could love her for herself.
During their time together she had come to trust Helios. He was a man she’d thought she could confide the truth to, and she was almost certain he wouldn’t turn away in disgust. But still she’d kept her secrets close. He couldn’t give her the other things she’d always secretly craved but had never quite believed she deserved. Love. Fidelity. Commitment. It had been wiser to keep her heart as close as her secrets.
She considered her words carefully, although her head swam. ‘I’m going to need time to think about it.’
‘What is there to think about?’ he asked, his dark eyes narrowing slightly.
‘My life is in England,’ she said evenly, although she knew there was really nothing to think about. He could offer to quadruple her salary and the answer would be the same.
She was saved from elaborating by Helios’s phone ringing.
‘My cue to leave,’ he said, flashing her a grin. ‘We can continue this discussion another time soon.’
She knew what ‘soon’ meant. He meant to visit her on Sunday evening, when he returned.
With Pedro there she was in no position to refuse or challenge anything. And even if she’d wanted to Helios didn’t give her the chance, wishing them both a good weekend before striding off and out of the museum. On his way to Monte Cleure to spend his weekend with the Princess and her family.
And she...
As soon as she returned from her last-minute shopping trip she would write her resignation letter. She would give it to Pedro tomorrow, safe in the knowledge that Helios would be over a thousand miles away.
CHAPTER FOUR
AMY PUT THE lip gloss tube to her mouth, but before she could squeeze the gel-like substance on, a loud rap made her jerk her hand back. The banging had come from the door outside her bedroom that connected the passageway between her apartment and Helios’s.
She pressed her hand to her pounding heart.
What was he doing here?
He was supposed to be spending the whole weekend in Monte Cleure, using his time there to officially ask Princess Catalina’s father’s blessing for their marriage. He should still be there, celebrating their forthcoming union , not here on Agon, banging on his ex-lover’s door.
Breathing heavily, she closed her eyes and willed him away.
Another loud rap on the door proved the futility of her wish.
Suddenly galvanised into action, she dropped the lip gloss into her handbag and slipped out of her room, hurrying past the connecting door as another knock rang out. Snatching her jacket off the coat stand, she left her apartment through the main exit and hurried down the narrow stairs. With her heart battering against her chest she punched in the code that opened the door and stole outside into the warm spring evening air.
She felt like an escaped convict.
Security lights blazed everywhere, and she kept as close to the palace wall as she could for as long as she could until she had to dart out to cross into the courtyard used by the palace staff. The car she’d ordered earlier was already waiting for her. She jumped straight into the passenger side, making Eustachys the driver, who was busy on his phone, jump.
‘You’re early,’ he said with a grin, before adding, ‘Where do you want to go?’
She forced a smile. Whenever she needed one of the pool of cars and drivers that were on permanent standby for the palace staff she was invariably given Eustachys, who spoke excellent English. ‘Resina, please.’