Pressing her cheek against the cold glass, she closed her eyes.
What was he doing right now? Who was he with?
Did he miss Toby?
Did he miss her?
Did he even think about her?
She brushed away another tear, wondering when they would dry up. So many pathetic tears...
She had battled too hard in her life to be a victim.
If Theo didn’t love her, then there was nothing she could do about it. All she could do was pull herself up and carry on.
But she felt so cold.
She would give anything to feel some warmth.
* * *
Theseus sat in his grandfather’s study, ostensibly studying the chessboard while waiting for his grandfather to make his move. Yet his mind was far from the intricately carved black and white pieces before him. It was thousands of miles away. In Oxford. Where it had been for well over a week now.
‘Are you going to make your move?’
He blinked rapidly, snapping himself out of the trance he’d fallen into.
His grandfather was staring at him, concern on his aged face.
It was the first game of chess they’d played since the Gala. Since he’d sent Jo away. He’d made a brief visit to his grandfather to inform him that the engagement was off and that Jo and Toby would be returning to England. He’d braced himself for a barrage of questions but none had come forth. His announcement had been met with a slow nod and the words, ‘You’re a grown man. You know what’s best for you and your family.’
Theseus moved his Bishop, realising too late he’d left his Queen exposed.
‘It will get better,’ his grandfather said.
Instead of denying that there was anything to improve, Theseus shook his head. ‘Will it?’
His grandfather’s eyes drilled into him. ‘Can it get any worse?’
‘No.’
But of course it could get worse. One day Toby—who now had his own phone, on which he could have face-to-face conversations with him at any time he liked—would casually mention a new uncle.
It wouldn’t happen soon. Jo wasn’t the kind of woman to jump out of one man’s bed and straight into another...
He closed his eyes, waiting for the lance of pain imagining her with another man would bring. It didn’t come. The picture wouldn’t form. His brain simply could not conjure up an image of Jo with someone else.
She’d said there had been no other. She’d been a virgin when she had met him. He remained her only lover.
It suddenly occurred to him that she’d been his last lover too.
There had been no one but her since Illya.
‘Do I understand that you finally gave her the choice of whether or not to marry you and she chose the latter?’ his grandfather asked, studying the board before them.
Theseus swallowed. ‘No. I set her free.’
‘Did she want to be set free?’
He paused before answering truthfully, ‘No.’
His grandfather’s finger rested on his castle. ‘You took away her choice in the matter?’
‘For her own good.’
The watery eyes sharpened. ‘People should make their own choices.’
‘Even if they’re the wrong ones?’
‘I thought your grandmother was the wrong choice for me,’ his grandfather said lightly, after a small pause. ‘She was born a princess, but I thought her too independent-minded to cope with being a queen. If I’d been given the choice I would have chosen someone else—and that would have been the wrong choice. We complemented each other, despite our differences. She gave me a fresh perspective on life.’
A twinkle came into his grandfather’s eyes.
‘She understood your struggles and helped me to understand them too. She was a queen in every way, and I thanked God every day of our life together that the choice had been taken out of my hands, because I would never have found the love we shared with anyone else.’
Theseus rubbed the nape of his neck, breathing heavily.
There was that word again. Love.
He’d loved his parents, but they’d died before he’d had the chance to know them properly. Losing them, especially losing his mother, had smashed his heart into pieces.
He’d loved his grandmother. Her death had smashed the pieces that had been left of his heart.
He looked at his grandfather, spears of pain lancing him at the knowledge that soon he would be gone too.
He thought of Jo—her sweet smiling face, her soft skin, her gentle touch. Her sharp tongue when it came to protecting their son.
Theos, if anything were to happen to her...