My body was responding to that word in a very big way, and I was already struggling after watching her yawn and stretch and mew all over the place.
"Fine. Large. I want a large coffee, a large—"
I covered her mouth with my hand. "Let's establish mornings as quiet time. A time of reflection, and thinking, and—"
She bit my damn hand.
"Coffee."
"Bite marks." I showed her my hand.
"Woo me."
She fell back onto the bed in a heap, and I had to admit I liked the bossy attitude. I got up and started fumbling with the Keurig.
The shower turned on.
"I'm so proud!" I yelled without turning around. "You turned it on all by yourself."
And I turned myself on by saying turn on. Damn curse! I gave myself a little shake and placed the cup under the spout.
"Aghhh… mother of—"
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Absolute silence then an ear splintering, "Jace!"
I ran toward the bathroom.
"So big!" Beth yelled.
The shower was one of those walk-in ones, where there was no curtain or door or anything to hide any scratch of your body.
Beth was standing in the corner with a shampoo bottle in her hands, pointing at the opposite corner.
The first thing I noticed was her nakedness, but it was quickly trumped by another shout and a shampoo bottle flying by my head, causing another thump.
"Get him!"
A spider that looked a hell of a lot like a shrunken MMA fighter barreled toward me. Now, I wasn't a fan of spiders. I didn't hate them, but that didn't mean I particularly enjoyed the idea of something hairy sinking its fangs into me. So I did what any logical man would do.
I looked for a gun.
And when I realized I wasn't James Bond nor did I live in a spy novel, I grabbed the next best thing.
The hair dryer.
It wasn't plugged in, but it was big enough for combat. I smashed the hell out of the spider until all that was left were tufts of legs and pieces of hair.
"Did you get him?" Beth came up behind me, shivering.
"Yeah" I wiped my brow with my arm, "it was a battle. Lots of lives lost. Blood shed. But… I got him."
"My hero," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me from behind.
I froze.
Not because she was calling me her hero. Please, I wasn't that narcissistic. It was because she was naked. And she had forgotten about her nakedness at a very fortunate time.