"I'm sorry I didn't take a sick day today."
Jace
So I'd kissed her twice. Big deal. I licked my lips for probably the twentieth time, hoping, no praying, that I'd still be able to taste her on the tip of my tongue. Damn, she tasted good. I couldn't get her smell or her taste out of my consciousness, and I really needed to be focusing on important things like trying to get my career on track, rather than flushing it down a shit hole.
With a haggard groan, I licked my lips. One last time. Just to remember.
How many times had I kissed a woman and experienced nothing?
Shameful, to admit when a man is so ridiculously turned off by the female species that he stops responding all together. That's what Kerry had done to me. She'd broken me. And I hated feeling like a broken misused toy that no longer functioned properly. It pissed me off and made me feel like less of a man.
But Beth? She made me feel alive. Too bad the things that make you feel alive eventually kill you. Drugs, alcohol, bungee jumping. Okay, fine. I was being dramatic, but still. Women were predators. They couldn't help but want to trap men and eventually destroy the relationship in the process. Maybe it was fear, but I imagined it was so much deeper than that.
Arranged marriage. That was my future. At least in an arranged marriage I could pull the strings, I could use it for my benefit. I'd have the perfect little senator-wife and I'd have my dream.
The only problem? The longer I spent with Beth and that damn grandmother, the more reality was pushed away from the forefront of my mind. I needed to get back to the mainland, and I needed to call Rick. Beth made me lose focus.
I never imagined myself a romantic. That dream had been killed over ten years ago. I was so young and stupid, naïve to think that Beth would remember the magic of our kiss. The magic of the moment we'd shared. I'd fallen head-over–heels. In exactly three minutes, I'd had our wedding planned, while she hadn't been able to wait to get away.
When I'd told Grandma Nadine I'd help get Jake and Char together, never in my wildest dreams had I thought that I'd get pulled into the Titus-family drama. And not once, had I thought I'd end up in bed with Char's sister. Especially after all those years wishing for that very thing.
I stole a glance at her.
She was beautiful. But I was surrounded by beautiful women, and none of them, not a single one, made me want to fight.
She did.
And it made me pissed as hell that I had somehow given her that type of emotional power over me. I'd done it once with Kerry, let my guard down and found her in bed with my best friend. But even with Kerry, I hadn't felt the sizzle I'd felt with Beth.
Which was terrifying. Because if it was this easy for me to want to be with her, then that meant she had that much more power to destroy me, and the sad part was, I'd probably let her, because even though I wanted to be that guy that was tough as shit and didn't give a damn.
I'd always known that once I fell for someone — once I fell in love, it would destroy me from the inside out. My mom had always joked that I wore my heart on my sleeve. In my profession it helped. People genuinely trusted me. They liked me. And in return, I tried to do my best for them.
Them. I needed to keep remembering what I'd been born to do. Lead others and sacrifice. At least, at the end of the day, I'd still have my job. Logistics, voting, politics, they were topics that, given the chance, would take over a person's life, leaving no space for anything else. I needed my life to be that way in order to be able to control things.
Groaning, I decided to put my mind to rest.
For tonight.
I was going to focus on getting through dinner. It would be hard enough fielding Grandma's ministrations. I'd need all my energy for that woman. I swear, God had done a number when He'd made her.
"We're here!" Grandma shouted as if we were at the World Cup.
"Yay." Beth pumped her fist into the air and gave me a tired smile.
Poor girl. She was probably just as tired as I was. It wasn't as if that flight had been something made out of dreams. It had been hell, hell on earth. And it truly had made me question my desire to procreate.
"I'm so hungry I almost ate the three-week-old candy I found at the bottom of my purse," Beth murmured so only I could hear her.
"What? No sharing?"
"It had fur on it." Beth sighed. "Fifty-fifty chance I would have died from some sort of fungus poising."
"More science." I sighed. "Hot."
"Fungus. Always hot."
"Where's the damn boat?" Grandma put her hands on her hips and stomped down the dock, while I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.