It’s best if I just keep it to myself for now. So I put a cheery expression on my face and lean closer to Claire. “What are you working on? Is that fur trim?”
Claire nods and holds it out to me. “Do you think it’s too much?”
“We’re on an ice planet. I don’t think such a thing exists anymore,” I tease. “Show me how you’re handling the sleeves? I always have trouble with mine.”
She scoots closer to me to demonstrate her sewing and my trip is forgotten.
* * *
I check in with all the girls that day to make sure everyone knows we’re going on a quick ‘vacation’ and we’ll come back very soon. No one is envious of our trip - they’re all quite content to stay in the warmth and safety of the home cave. The only one I don’t get to talk to is Liz, who’s out with her mate, but Kira reassures me that she’ll let Liz know the situation when they come back again.
We pack bags that evening, Vektal throwing in extra blankets and fur wraps and food into his pack because he wants to ‘take care of his mate’. I’ve seen how light he travels, so it feels a little silly to bring so much gear, but he’s also the expert. If he thinks I’m going to be freezing my butt off, I believe him. We go to bed early and Vektal wakes me up with a kiss before dawn so we can get started on our day.
It feels a bit like sneaking out as I dress in thick leathers and a cloak and we head toward the entrance of the cave. Hardly anyone is up except for a few of the hunters, who raise a hand in greeting but don’t stop us. I don’t see any human girls, and part of me wants to go cave to cave, waking them up and checking in on them one last time before I head out, but that’s just me being overly-protective. They’re fine. They’re adults surrounded by other adults and no one will let them starve, or freeze, or have anything bad happen to them.
I don’t know why I feel utterly responsible for all the women, but I do. I can’t mother them since we’re the same age, but I do feel like a team leader who’s leaving her team completely behind.
Pretty sure that’s not what you do with a team.
Then again…isn’t that the heart of this? I’m doing what I need to do for my team, all of them. I bite back any worries I have and smile at Vektal when he puts his hand out for me.
“Time to go?” I ask, and he nods.
We head out into the snow and I can tell immediately it’s going to be another hard walk. I’m reminded of before, when we were in such a hurry that Vektal carried me on his back because the snow was so thick that it was effort for me to walk through. He says he didn’t mind but I always worry I’ll be too heavy, because toting another grown human being around on your back isn’t really done back where I come from. The occasional piggyback ride? Sure. Hours on end through the craggy hills and valleys of this new, snowy place? Not so much.
As we get away from the cave, Vektal turns to look at me. His hand still clasps mine, his tail flicking behind him as we walk. In his other hand, he carries a spear, and he’s wearing his vest o’knives again today. My man is bound and determined to keep his lady safe, and it should probably look alarming. Instead, I just think he looks handsome. He watches me, waiting, and when I don’t speak, he finally says, “Where do you wish to do this honey-moons?”
“You’re letting me pick?” In truth, I’ve had an idea of where I want to go all along, but I thought I’d have more time to ease him into the idea, maybe after a little playful sex after we were already out on the road…
But he’s looking at me expectantly, waiting.
I guess now’s the best time to ask. I suck in a deep breath, steeling my nerves, and then tell him the truth. “I want to go back to the ship.”
His mouth firms as if he digests this. “The cave of the ancestors?”
“No,” I admit. “Though that’s a good guess. I want to go back to the ship we arrived in. The one where you guys rescued all of us.” Almost all of us.
Vektal frowns at that. “Up the mountain?”
I nod.
“I do not like that place. It is dangerous.”
“I know—”
“There are metlak burrows all over the mountain, and it is colder there. The snow is thicker. It will be difficult on you.”
“I know,” I say again. “But I need to go back.” I lick my dry lips. “Please. It’s important to me.”