He starts to say something but thinks better of it.
I watch as they drive off and as I turn to leave Holden walks up. His smile is genuine, and it’s obvious he has no idea what’s going on. “Should we re-join the party?” he asks playfully.
I place my hand on his chest and smile up at him. “I don’t think I’m quite ready for what you’re looking for. I don’t think we match the way I had hoped. I like you, so I want to tell you now before things become more serious between us.”
The smile that was gracing his lips disappears. Holden steps back and looks around. Mostly everyone has gone back inside, apart from my mother, who is standing waiting for me, I presume.
“Could you take me home?” I ask Holden.
“Yes, of course.”
“I’m sorry, Holden. I really am.”
Chapter 21
August
Mary is sitting on the front porch when I get back, and Oliver is playing in the yard. When I stop the car, I turn to see Winter watching him.
“Would you like to go and play?” Winter nods eagerly at my words, and I get out to unbuckle her. As soon as she’s out of the car, she runs straight over to him, and he hands her the bat he’s hitting the ball with. I sit down next to Mary, and she doesn’t make eye contact. She’s hardly even spoken to me since the day Anderson was here.
“Winter is beautiful,” she finally says, watching her playing with Oliver.
“She is,” I agree.
I feel her eyes on me, and when I turn to face her, she offers me a soft smile. “She looks exactly like her.”
I know what she’s saying, and I agree, “She does.”
“And you’re still in love with her, even now, aren’t you?”
“I am,” I admit honestly.
I hear her take a deep breath next to me. “I guess I knew you wouldn’t lie to me. It’s one of the things that made me love you, August.”
I reach my hand around her shoulder and pull her to me. “I love you too, Mary. I really do.”
“I think … well, I wonder, if perhaps I just love you as well, and I’m not in love with you. The problem is the pain says otherwise.”
“Would you like to meet her?” I ask Mary, motioning to Winter, who is laughing at Oliver. She nods, and I call Winter over. She comes quickly and runs into my arms.
“Hi, my name is Mary. Can I ask yours?” Mary leans in close to me.
Winter lifts her head from my shoulder and stares at her. “Winter.”
“Wow! Such a pretty name for a pretty girl,” she says kindly. “I bet you love the winter too, right?”
Winter scrunches up her little nose at her. “I prefer summer, but that’s my cousin’s name, and she prefers winter, so…” She shrugs her shoulders like she can’t work out why they have the wrong names.
Oliver calls Winter, she turns and runs back to him. He hands her the ball and they start to play again. I turn back to Mary to see her studying me.
“If I were a good woman, I would let you go. Be with her…” Her eyes lock onto mine as she stands with a deep sigh. “I’m already packed. Oliver and I have found somewhere to stay, but I wanted to meet Winter and to say goodbye to you.”
I stand too and reach for Mary. My hands grip her hips, and I pull her to me and touch her face ever so softly. “You don’t have to go,” I tell her.
She smiles, but it never reaches her eyes. “I do, we both know it. I thank you so much for everything you did, August. You gave me a chance when I had no one.” A tear leaves her eye. “You married me so I could change my name and they couldn’t find me, and you showed Oliver what being a good person is.” Mary leans up and kisses my cheek. “But I think it’s time now that I do me and try to stop myself from falling completely in love with you. Because I am falling more and more in love with you each day.”
“Mommy.” We both turn to see Winter running up to her mother, who I didn’t even hear pull up. It’s dark outside, but she stands out under the night sky.
“It’s the way you look at her that I want. I want someone to look at me the way you stare at her. You say she has soulless eyes, but I think you tell yourself that, so you don’t fall deeper into them.” Her lips peck me again before she pulls away and walks inside the house.
Winter pulls Rylee to where Oliver and I can hear her explaining what they’re doing. Rylee’s eyes find mine and hold, just for a brief second, before she reaches down and picks up our daughter and walks toward me. Oliver follows behind as Mary walks out holding a few bags in her arms.