“What’s wrong?” Beckham asks, getting in once Winter is buckled in.
“Let’s just go home,” I say and put on a smile for Winter.
Beckham stares at me the whole drive, knowing full well something is up. When we arrive at my apartment, Winter yells from the back, “Auggie.” We turn to see him standing with his arms crossed over his chest as he watches us.
Beckham gets out first, opens the door for Winter, and picks her up in his arms.
August walks over and nods to Beckham. “You’ve grown,” August says.
I don’t hear what Beckham says back as they shut the door. I stay in the car, not wanting to get out, not wanting to listen to his voice. I jump when Beckham’s knuckles rap on the window. He nods to the apartment and walks off with Winter in his arms.
The passenger door opens, and August climbs in and shuts the door. His phone starts ringing and he pulls it out. “It’s Mary,” he says.
“Don’t you mean Jacinta?”
“No, Mary. She left Jacinta behind a long time ago.”
I huff and wait for him to talk, but I don’t think I can look at him right now.
“She was upset that I had started building again.” My body relaxes at his words. “The last thing I made was the dresser for you, which, I might add, you left in my room.”
I did exactly that because I didn’t want the reminder of what I had lost.
The man who didn’t love me enough to stay.
“I’ve been working odd jobs, enough to always pay the bills, and I had plenty saved from when I did work here all those years ago,” he continues. I feel his stare on me. “It wasn’t Winter who I made it for. It was all for you. You used to watch me, and you believed in me when no one else would. I made it all for you, Rylee.”
“I think you should stop talking now and go back to your wife.” My voice doesn’t break when I speak, but it’s close, though. However, somehow, I hold it together.
“She’s a good woman, I’m sure you know that. She had to hide from them. You know how dangerous he can be.” I shiver at that memory. “It started off as a way to help her, then it led…”
“To more,” I finish. I finally turn to him, holding everything back. “I’m happy for you, August. I really am. I’m glad you gave someone a chance. That you didn’t hide and try to stop it like you did with me. I get it now. I get that I wasn’t enough for you, that you and I were just a moment in time and were never meant to work.” I take a deep breath and force a smile. “I’m happy for you,” I repeat again. “Now … please … get the fuck out of my car and go home to your wife. I’ll call you and we can co-parent. We don’t need to interact anymore other than when it’s about Winter. I won’t keep her from you. She loves you already, and she deserves a father.” I take a deep breath.
Green eyes lock on to mine.
“How come you haven’t married?” he asks. “I always thought you would. I had nightmares of you so in love with your new husband.”
“I had Winter. She is my life.”
“If I had known—” he says.
“It is the way it is.”
His phone starts ringing again, so he presses accept, and I hear Jacinta’s, I mean, Mary’s voice chime through. “I saw Rylee today.” I hear her say, and his eyes find mine.
“I know,” he replies.
“You know?” she asks. “You’re with her, aren’t you?”
“I am,” he answers. “I was just leaving. I’ll be home in ten.” He ends the call, lowers his head, then raises his eyes back to me. “I have to go.”
I wave my hand to the door. “As I said, you should go.” I force a smile.
“Rylee…”
“Leave, August. You and I don’t need to talk unless it’s about Winter.”
“You don’t want to speak to me?” he asks, his forehead scrunching like he does not understand where I am coming from.
“No, I really don’t.”
August pushes open the door, and I watch him get out. Just before he shuts the door, he leans down, staring into my eyes. “If I had a choice, Rylee, it would’ve been you. It’s always been you.” He shuts the door and walks to his car.
I hold back everything until I see him drive off.
The tears fall, and they keep falling even when Beckham walks out, pulls me out of the car, and wraps his brotherly arms around me, making me feel safe.
“It’s better this way,” he says quietly. I nod into his chest, knowing he’s right. “Just keep saying that and one day you may believe it.”
I chuckle through my tears then pull back and look up at him.